Monday, October 8, 2007

Cindy's Letter to Mom

October 8, 2007

Hello Mother...Happy Birthday.

I've been thinking about you alot. You would have been 80 years old today. should have been 80 years old today. All the kids and grand kids and great grand kids should have come to your house this weekend and celebrated you. Celebrated your life, your spirit, all the love you have given us and all the love you still had to give. We each would have given you one of the simple gifts you had on your list of "things you want" for your Birthday; new towels for the kitchen, a new bottle of Jean Nate', perhaps a new egg timer. One that's loud so you could hear it better. These were the things you'd ask for. And you would be as excited to get these gifts as you would a diamond ring. And that's what made you even more special to us. It wasn't the gift that was important, it was just having us all around so you could look at us. Once in awhile we'd surprise you and actually get you a diamond bracelet, or a new TV...after all, how many kitchen towels does one woman need.
But this year there was no gathering at the old homestead. No celebration, no gifts. Just an overwhelming sense of loss, sadness, emptiness. Your first Birthday not spent here with us. I miss you terribly Mother. People say to me that you are still there with me. That you see everything I do. I do hope that is true but it doesn't feel like enough. I miss your hugs, I miss your smiling eyes. I miss telling you about work, or the kids, or things we are doing in the house. You were always so excited for me and Elyse. You were always so encouraging and happy for us. I miss the smell of your house when you were there. I miss coming to see you and just standing in the doorway of the den and watching you read your book because you didn't hear me come in. I miss taking you to shows in NY, there are so many new things out that I know you would have loved. I just miss everything about you. I'm sad that my children won't grow up with you in their lives. Olivia talks about you still, but I'm not sure what she really remembers. In her prayers each night, she thanks Jesus for you; that makes me happy. But I wish that Olivia, Jake and Emma could have known you more. I'll try to pass on to them what I've learned from you.

I found your autobiography that you wrote when you were a senior in high school. You wrote of your ancestors, your youth, your school years, hobbies, pets, etc. The last chapter is your "Philosophy of Life" you wrote:

"Life can be as pleasant or as unpleasant as one cares to make it. Everything depends on the individual; whether one looks on the bright side and tries to make the best of things he has, or whether one is always sulky and only thinks of the unpleasant things, are usually shown in his facial expression.
Love and happiness are in my mind the two most important things in life. Due to the present conditions my future is a little uncertain but I plan to be a nurse for a while and then marry and raise a family. Money is one of the less important things in my philosophy. Of course a certain amount is needed but I feel if there is love and happiness in the family, money is only a minor detail".
I can say without question you lived your philosophy. Your cheerful outlook, happy eyes and love for family were true to course. You raised a beautiful family and we are all so grateful to have had you for a mother. My Birthday gift to you this year Mother, is to continue your legacy and live out your philosophy in my own life to the best of my ability. Times have changed a bit, but the basics remain the same. By the way, in case you don't got an "A" on that project.

Happy Birthday Mother...and many more.
Your Loving Daughter,


K J and the kids said...

Moving. eloquent.touching. and what a tribute to an amazing woman.

How wise at such a young age to write her autobiography with such aged thoughts and ideas.

What a large and fullfilled life she lived. and to be able to pass her legacy on through you is the best gift you could give her.

Happy birthday Cindy's mom ! you did good.

K J and the kids said...

P.S. The apple didn't fall far from the tree. same rosey cheeks even ! :)

nailgirl said...

Oh how sweet Cindy. Again, I am so sorry for your loss.

Tammy said...

I can hardly type with the tears rolling down my eyes. What a touching and beautiful note! You are blessed to have had her as long as you did. You will forever cherish the memories of such a wonderful lady.

ECand3 said...

My Darling Wife,
What a wonderful tribute to your mom. Your words bring her back in living color. Her smiling eyes, her infectious laugh, and her sweet, gentle spirit are memories we will keep alive in our hearts forever.
I miss her - wish I could hear her say just one more time - "Oh Goodie!"

Happy Birthday Pat! I Love you!

Mimi said...

I know how you feel....I lost my mother when I was 16 I was young and didn't understand what I had lost until my daugher gave me a granddaughter....then you sit and think of all of the times I have missed with my mother when I am sitting with my don't realize what you have missed until later...m y children didn't grow up with a loving grandmother how sad.....

SJayneI said...

Beautiful letter! I know exactly how you feel.

beans said...

Thanks-for you and your mom. I needed those words right now, right here in this place.

DM & C said...

Tears are rolling down my cheeks as I feel your pain. With my Father's death so fresh in my mind and heart I can so totally understand your emptiness, and wish I was there to hug you. If ever you need to scream, or just to talk, call me. You're family!!

KellyBelly said...

What a wonderful tribute with such simple wisdom...yet easy for us to forget. Thanks for sharing.

DM & C said...

Its m, i am sorry for your pain c, i do know how you feel. I lost my mom 2yrs ago and it still hurts. It does get easier,,,,and I am soooo grateful that i had her for 40yrs. She taught me so much that i can pass on to my daughter. miss you all

ECand3 said...

Hi everybody, it's me, Cindy. Thank you all for you notes about my Mom. For those of you that I know personally, you would have loved her. And those of you tha I don't, well, you would have loved her too.

"Felt so good to get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me, threatening the life it belongs to."

hotomiky said...

Very touchy tribute! This brought me with tears...thinking of my mom who I lost 5 years ago one week before my graduation from College unexpected. I was looking forward having her as a grandma as T was pregnant with Mikaela.

Happy Birthday Pat!

Anonymous said...

hi guys its me jacqui. i keep saying that i would leave a comment on the blog and never really got around to doing it, although i frequent the page and this blog especially quite often. it doesnt seem right that shes gone and my heart aches every time i walk into the house and shes not sitting there waiting for me. i want her to just sit in the chair and read those romance novels and hug me and ask how my day is going. i miss gram and time does not make it easier for me. i try to be like her in every way and just simplify life like she did, and keep hoping for the good in people. we're so lucky to have each other and a family like we do because we all have so much of her in us. i wear my last name like a medal and sign it with honor for patricia bonforte. we are lucky to have known her and spent our lives with her for such a long period of time. i miss gram so much and think about her every single day. i know you guys do too. its so hard especially to be so far away at school and not feel like i can visit everyone and kiss the babies and be a part of everyones life like i would want to. i love you guys and everyone else in the family and if i could tell you just one more time that my heart is full with your love
love you guys. and i love you gram.
jacqueline bonforte