Life As A Rainbow

EMMA AND JAKE ARE 2!

2009-03-19T13:46:00.005-04:00

Happy Birthday my little ones! Today, as every day, I feel especially blessed to have you in our lives.

A quick update...Jake is addicted to Thomas the Tank and Emma is addicted to Elmo. I absolutely believe there are subliminal messages these characters send to our children that we cannot hear...not unlike he high-pitched whistles dogs can hear that humans can not.

Here are a couple pics of what the look like now, and Olivia too. I know it's been a long time and you won't believe how much they've all grown. I certainly don't. Their 2 year checkups are tomorrow and I promise to give you the stats. I'm fairly sure that they are still mini-kids. Jake is so skinny and, though Emma looks a bit rounder, she is shorter and still pretty light. We'll see.

Everything But The Kitchen Sink

2008-08-06T09:47:00.014-04:00

So I have a ton of stuff to catch up on.
It's been a little strange around here lately. I've been feeling really out of sorts, to say the least. Just crappy. I can't even put my finger on a reason why. On top of that, Max has gone on a little vacation from us. He was getting so uptight. We have kids in the yard a lot playing and he is always on guard, watching over the babies and Olivia. He feels the need to protect them - every minute. He never relaxes. Even at night, when we're all in the house together, he gets nervous and paces when we go in different directions. He can't sit still until we're all together in one room and he can see us all. By the time the kids go to bed, he is exhausted. It's just so unfair. I felt like he was miserable all the time. In lieu of putting him on heavy duty meds, we sent him to spend some time with Eleasha, his former trainer and current love of his life, and Gunner, her Rottie, Max's boyfriend. She lives on a huge piece of land in PA. Max has the run of the place and hangs with the horses. I'm sure he thinks they're his long lost cousins. She sends me pictures, but I miss him so much and OG keeps asking when he's coming home. Sadly, I don't know and we're just taking it one day at a time. I took this the morning we dropped him off.

I thought it was about time Emma and Jake learned to use a spoon. It's going as expected - messy. I should have tried mashed potatoes instead of cottage cheese.

Yes, Jake is man enough to eat with a pink spoon.

Jersey corn is perfect this time of year and they LOVED it.

They decided to walk around and chew on it a little more, and slowly made their way to the kitchen and...

the little scoundrels left us a surprise in the letter drawer.

Olivia and the other kids from vacation bible school gave a performance on the last night. Emma couldn't help but get in the action. I have a video of it, which I will attempt to download later.

OG loved her space scooter. We gave it to her the morning of her party.

The party was fun. I didn't take a lot of pix, but I got this one, which is so sweet. Jake spent hours on my brother's lap.

New Additions

2008-08-05T07:58:00.003-04:00

This post is a little out of order, as I have soooooooo much to catch up on from the last 2 weeks. However, we've had 2 new additions to our little (HUGE) family and we are so proud of KJ and the kids for making such beautiful healthy boys. You can go to Roleplayingwithkids to see what I mean. But for now...

Our Little Girl is Growing Up

2008-07-24T17:05:00.009-04:00

Today my darling Olivia turned 4. She is an amazing human being. Smart and creative, sensitive and kind, perceptive and funny, loving and compassionate. I often look at her in wonder, at a loss for why I was blessed with this incredible little girl. And I thank God every day that I was.
My love for her runs deep; it is beyond measure, without condition. I am so proud to be her mom.

This is the year in pictures. She has grown so much - physically, mentally, emotionally. I look back at who she was just one year ago and find her barely recognizable.

These last 2 were taken today. They are the 1st "professional" photos we've had taken of her since she was 4 months old. I thought it was about time.

"Here's to us..Fun diner"

2008-07-14T12:58:00.013-04:00

Cindy, Olivia and I were relaxing in her pool yesterday after spending a tedious hour in very humid, 95 degree weather installing wheels on our huge, sagging driveway gate (pix to come of course). Cin and I popped open a couple brewskies, OG popped a straw in a juice box and Cindy and I toasted with her Grandma Taylor's famous toast - "Here's to us...none finer." Olivia wanted to learn it, so we repeated it a few times.
Cin: Here's to us.
Me: None finer.
OG: Again
Cin: Here's to us.
Me: None finer.
OG: Again
Cin: Here's to us.
Me: None finer.
Cin: OK, Olivia. Your turn.
Cin and Me: Here's to us.
OG: Fun diner!
LMAO! We couldn't stop laughing for at least five minutes and then intermittently throughout the day.
It was a funfilled week. One of Olivia's 1/2 sibs and her moms came out from Pittsburgh on Wednesday and stayed for 5 days. When they arrived, Callie and Olivia ran immediately upstairs to play without missing a beat. It was as if they see each other every day. I wish they did. I wish she could see all her 1/2 sibs every single day and they could all spend time and get to know each other inside and out from this young age. It makes me all warm and fuzzy inside to think about them growing up together.
Anyhoo...we had a lot of fun. We spent Thursday and Friday at our favorite beach, Avon-by-the-sea. On Thursday, we dumped the twins at Cin's sister's house, but we brought them on Friday. JAKE HATES THE BEACH! There, I've said it. He screamed and cried and clung to one person or another all day long. Needless to say, he will not be going back until next year.

SANDOPHOBIA
This is where he stayed the ENTIRE time - on someone's lap.

On Thursday night, Darcy and Mare watched all the kids while Cindy and I went to NYC to see Melissa Ether*dge. It was my birthday gift. What a fabulous show!
This was only a small part of my birthday gift, so I'll digress for a moment to tell you about it. Cindy secured our babysitter for Friday morning (the 4th) through Saturday night. She took off Friday July 4th and we were supposed to go to the beach. It rained, so we went to the movies instead. How strange to get in our little red 2-door coupe and drive down to the shore with no children. It felt a little like the twilight zone. After the movie it was clearing up a little, so we went to a beautiful new boardwalk that was built a couple years ago. There were vendors there for the holiday weekend and we walked up and down the boardwalk with no strollers to push, no hands to hold, no children crying or running away or asking for a balloon or food or drinks. Again - twilight zone. We stopped in at a restaurant on the water and had an appetizer and a couple drinks. When we got to her brother's house where we were staying for the night, we napped. That's right, you didn't read it wrong. WE napped! We got up, showered, dressed and went to a restaurant for lobster and filet mignon - my annual birthday meal. After dinner, we walked across the street and onto the beach to watch the fireworks. Then back to her brother's house and in bed by 10:30. Glorious! We came home the next afternoon, ate lunch and rested a while. Her plan was to go bowling then take me to dinner. I've been bugging her to go bowling with me for the 9 years since we met. When I walked in, I saw a bunch of our friends waiting there for me -a surprise bowling party - how fun! We ate pizza, drank beer and bowled. We had a blast. However, NO PICTURES - nobody brought a camera. UNBELIEVABLE!

Back to our company...

MaryLou and Darcy not only took care of Jake and Emma the entire time they were here, but they took Olivia home from the beach with them to go swimming in the hotel pool while we got ready for the concert. They were such generous and considerate guests. I'd have them here 20 times a year if they'd come.
Friday night we made a fire in the backyard and roasted marshmallows and just talked and talked and talked til we about passed out. Darcy and Mare took OG with them to their hotel for a sleepover.

snack time at the beach

We had lunch at our favorite restaurant in Avon - right across from the beach

Waiting on a wave to crash...

...and here it comes!

Emma was just chillin'-she's a beach baby

Fun painting on the outdoor easel

My little landlubber was much happier with his feet on the pavement.

Emma and Jake playing house when they were motherless on Thursday night

Saturday we left the babies with a sitter and took the girls canoeing, then came home and just chilled out for the rest of the day. The kids all ran around and played and swam and had so much fun together. They left yesterday and the tears flowed as they drove off.

It was a sullen day, but we had a wonderful family day just hanging in the yard. It was one of those days when I couldn't help but thank God for everything I have and all the people I love. I feel so blessed.

A Lot of Catching Up

2008-06-18T10:47:00.007-04:00

I've been lazy - no posts in a couple weeks, but that time has flown by.
We've been spending all our time outside lately and really enjoying the weather. I've never had a green thumb, so I am so proud of our flowers this year because I've been trying so hard to take really good care of them.
Here are a couple of my favorites and a special little bug Olivia found and named June bug, though I really have no idea whether it is or not.

Emma and Jake have been really sick for about a week now. They started with fevers and it migrated into tons of gooey grossness pouring from their noses. Could be allergies, sinus infections or just nasty colds. Whatever it is, I'm, ready for it to be gone. They mope and whine most of every day. While Jake is content to just hang in his stroller while I do yardwork, Emma is still quite the little hyper child and is always looking for me to pick her up and flip her around and throw her in the air.

Here are a few pix from this past week...

Jake has finally learned to hug rather than push...

Emma has enough hair for her first pony tail and a new word...ball

Jake is content to just sit and let others do the work.

Olivia's VERY LAME soccer program is over and I realized I never posted her pix from the 1st day. BAD MAMA! here they are...

Dumb, Dumber and Dumbest

2008-06-03T16:19:00.015-04:00

DUMB

Our first born, Max (the dog) is really dumb sometimes. He got spooked by the wind blowing a plastic toy on the driveway. It made a noise and he freaked, knocking over Jake as he fled to safety. Of course Jake fell flat on his face. Poor little man. Max felt bad about it and hung his head in shame.

DUMBER

I played my 1st outdoor soccer game in 16 years on Sunday. I joined the league couple months ago and in the time between then and Sunday, I did NOTHING to prepare. BIG MISTAKE. HUGE! After 2 grueling 45 minute halves in sweltering heat, I came home, showered, and we packed up the kids to go to Pride in Asbury Park for the rest of the day. I was EXHAUSTED. We got home and ate and I retired immediately to bed after taking several Al*ve for the pain I knew was coming.

This was me getting ready for a header that should have caused me to be in a neckbrace.

Yupper! That's me slidetackling on the right - what was I thinking?

I just made a great pass. The Amazon in blue was my mark. Much of my pain is due to collisions with her. I did pass the ball through her legs, however - gratification enough for all the pain I am currently enduring.

PS - I definitely held my own and kicked some ass myself, but our offense was hurting and it ended in a tie, 0-0. Go Big D!

DUMBEST
Before leaving for work on yesterday morning, my most thoughtful wife woke me to give me 3 more Al*ve for the pain she knew I'd be facing the moment I tried to get out of bed. I took them and went back to sleep. I woke and hour later to babies screaming and feeling a little woozy, but I got up and went into the bathroom. That's when it all started. I could barely walk. This was partially from the pain, but mostly because I couldn't focus and was dizzy and felt as though I was going to pass out. I managed to get the babies downstairs. Olivia followed. As soon as I closed the gate I fell to my knees. I called Cindy and told her what was going on. She said she'd catch the next bus home, as she was still in the bus terminal b/c she had just disembarked from the one that brought her into the city. I called my neighbor to come take care of the kids until Cindy got home and then I promptly passed out on the couch for the next 4 hours. I heard nothing and remember nothing. Cindy came home, got the kids dressed and took them all to Olivia's school for the day. For the rest of the day, I could barely move. "What could this be?", you ask. "SHEER STUPIDITY!", I answer.

When we went to Utah to see K and J, I put a few muscle relaxers in an Al*ve bottle (just in case Cindy started freaking on the flight) so I wouldn't have to deal with them asking to see my ID when we went through security to check that it matched the name on the Rx bottle. It didn't. I thought this was a good idea. The bottle was put away in the medicine cabinet when we got home and never used again. These were the only 3 pills in the bottle and now they were in me. WTF! Does it get any dumber than that? No need to answer. The thing is that these pills were white, not blue, and my wife gave them to me anyway. I thought she may have been trying to kill me, but then I realized that is just CRAZY. I don't have nearly enough life insurance for her to hire a nanny. I guess it really was just an honest mistake.

Thankfully, there are no pictures of me passed out on the couch.

I woke today feeling much better, except for all the pain from my 1st mistake on Sunday. So we all got up, got dressed, and went outside to enjoy the beautiful day. It's the 1st day hot enough for me to let the kids run around in bathing suits and swimmies and get soaking wet.

Gatherings

2008-05-27T08:36:00.010-04:00

About 2 years ago when I noticed that there were gads of children in the neighborhood that all started playing together, I prayed that ours would NOT be the house where they gathered. Olivia was too young to really care and happy enough to stay in our yard and amuse herself. Last year she began to overcome her "slow-to-warm-up-ness" and would play with the kids next door every now and then. It was great. We'd send her over the fence or up the street for an hour or so and just chill with the babies. It was very relaxing.
Fast forward...Spring 2008...
It's warming up and the creatures are crawling out of the woodwork. And boy have things changed! Our yard has become the gathering place. It all started on Friday. Several kids from the neighborhood just hopped the fence and started playing in the yard. There were about 7 of them. They played here for a few hours before everyone retreated home for dinner and bed. It continued on Saturday. After we came home from OG's soccer practice, we put the babies for a nap, I went food shopping and Cindy started yard work while OG played in the yard. I returned about an hour later to find several children running around our yard. By early afternoon, there were 13 children other than our own running around. And they never left. Well, not until 8 PM when we dragged Olivia and her 2 friends in for the night. Our friend, Heather, and her twin boys came for a sleepover. So we all bathed, put on PJ's and watched a movie. It was great.

In the end, it made me really happy that all these kids feel safe and love to play here in our yard. I'm not sure, however, why they like to be here because I'm quite sure I'm the "meanest" mom on the block. I make them all throw away their garbage and juice boxes after snacks. I do not allow bad language. They may not hit, push, fight over toys, say "shut up" or scream. And I insist on taking tuns and sharing. I am not afraid to hand out timeouts like candy and I watch them like hawks. Still, they all have such a good time and keep coming back. Go figure.

Sunday was the block party. We didn't have as big a turnout this year as in years past, but the 15 families that came had a blast. I had chalk and street paint for the littler ones. We brought out the sprinkler and they went wild. And the big finale...the firetruck. The firemen bring the truck and hats for the kids every year and they never tire of it. This year we got a great shot of all of them on the truck.

Olivia had a really hard day. She was overtired and kept falling. She got a blister on both heels from the red sparkly shoes she insisted on wearing when the party started and her knees took a beating when she took a dive on the street running to get to the firetruck. But it didn't keep her from getting in the pictures. After some hugs and kisses from her moms and her 2 BFF's, and 2 very big bandaids, she was ready to pose, pout and all.

Fashion Sense (or not so much)

2008-05-24T08:25:00.003-04:00

Olivia is doing great at getting up and ready for school in the morning. No complaining or whining. It's been a pleasure. The other day, she urprised me by coming into my room fully dressed. She brushed her teeth, washed her face, picked out an outfit and put it on. She was PROUD. All the right body parts were covered and it was perfectly approriate clothing for the weather that day. I thought she did great. Decide for yourself...

Emma is picking up on Olivia's love for fashion and made a satement of her own. Strangely, og did the same thing when sh was Emma's age. Whe I get a minute, I'll look for the pix and post for comparison. I'm pretty sure OG was able to stack at leat 12 pair on her neck.

Olivia's legs are taking a beating. If she weren't my child, I'd report her parents to DYF*S.

That's all for now, gotta get ready for the block party. We've been planning it for weeks and it's finally here and it's already 75 degrees out at 9 AM. Woohoo!

Another Lazy Post

2008-05-22T12:56:00.005-04:00

Not a lot going on here, so I just keep taking pictures, hoping a story will come my way, but it's just not happening.

We're sitting for my brother's pup, Anabelle. She's a beast, a bull, a monster - but such a sweet little creature. She weighs more than Max, though he towers over her. They wrestle outside for 4-5 hours a day (when it's not raining, which it has been every other day for the last week!) After they eat dinner, sheer exhaustion takes over and neither one moves until the next morning.

Emma and Jake have been cooperative in posing for me on request. Emma is going through a stage of putting any and every piece of clothing on her head that she can get her hands on. This time she got it right and used a hat. Jake was staring at a butterfly.

They are loving the tricycle. Emma usually gets on backwards, but the very 1st time she got on the right way, Jake decided to join her.

Mother's Day 2008

2008-05-12T15:03:00.005-04:00

What a wonderful day!
Gale joined us for church, as Olivia sang with the other children from ages 3 through 8. It was a special presentation for Mother's Day. The 3 and 4-year-olds didn't remember the words, though they've been practicing every Sunday for weeks. Regardless, OG manged to mouth the words wonderfully, only milliseconds after they were sung by the older kids (hehe). SO CUTE!

Then we headed down to Cindy's mom's house. It's been almost 1 year since she passed and I can't belive how the time has flown by. One of Cindy's brothers is living there and everyone thought it would be nice to gather there and be together for Mother's Day, as we've done every year. It felt so warm and comfortable to be there, as if she wee there with us. I think I even felt my mom drop in. MWAAAAAA! - love you, Mom and Pat!

It was freezing out! None of us were prepared for this weather, but, of course, the kids didn't care. Alex and Olivia ran around outside and played for hours. Uncle Stephen got in the act as the big bad monster and chased them around for a while to warm up.

Jake and his Godmother, Jacqui. He spent almost the ENTIRE day sitting on her lap and next to her and just hangin'. He's quite attached and she loves him to death.

The 3 troublemakers and little Ava, showing off her tumbling prowess.

All in all, it was a wonderful day filled with love, family and friendship. I couldn't ask for more.

What a Day!

2008-05-05T21:37:00.006-04:00

FINALLY! The mercury crept above 50. It was a whopping 70 today and we took advantage as soon as we rolled out of bed (well...almost). We spent a total of 6 hours outside today just playing and posing.

Actually yesterday was pretty nice too and we went to the 1st town street fair of the season.

I've been a lazy blogger lately, and I still am, so I leave you with some pictures until I have more energy and I can write something witty.

OG rode Winnie the pony at the street fair (AGAIN), though she complained the pony was too small ans wants to ride a real horse for her birthday. We'll see whether she gets on when she sees the size of it!

Emma discovered the fun of opening and closing the windows on the playhouse, Jake jumped in and we ended up with lots of laughs.

Bump, what bump? Emma took a header out of the play area onto the driveway She was up a at 'em again in seconds. She's a real trooper.

OG jumped into the baby swing, which is about 3 feet off the ground. I have no idea how she did it, but she was pretty proud of herself.

You'll notice which car each one chose. No gender stereotypes around here.

BEEEEEP! BEEEEEP! A tough call for Jake. Eventually he sided with Emma for fear of being beaten up.

Max, too, fears for his safety as Emma tortures him with an animal cracker. He is such a good dog! He could easily swallow the cracker AND Emma without even breaking a sweat.

Happy Earth Day

2008-04-22T22:41:00.008-04:00

Darcy, Mare, Callie, Olivia and I went to the Pitsburgh Zoo today and I was reminded of just how in love I am with Mother Earth and all her beautiful creatures...

If I only had a neck like this...

The majestic lioness

If I keep eating the way I am...

Poor Giant Octopus. After I flashed the pic, I read the sign saying "No pictures" because light bothers their eyes. Oops!

This baby gorilla was such a mush...

Big Daddy Silverback was "airing out".

Callie and OG (the real beasts)caught in the Polar Bear trap

Callie and her beloved seal

OG loved this boy statue. The girl in pink was a stalker - she kept creeping in to all the pix we took of the girls. I had to ask her to leave.

Darcy and Mare - how cute are they!

SO proud of OG. She climbed the ropes, which were about 30 feet high, like a champ. NO FEAR!

Where Have All My Children Gone?

2008-04-20T20:54:00.004-04:00

******UPDATED WITH PICTURES*******

My brother's puppy, Anabelle. She's a real pip - all personality.

At the mall, we met an elephonkey and rode the carousel and the train - several times.

The 2 princesses - chillin' on the couch, exhausted from their long day at the mall.

Callie and OG bowled for the very 1st time - they were FABULOUS! Notice the excellent form...

I'm in Pittsburgh helping out my brother. He had emergency abdominal surgery last week and is limited in what he can do for a while.
Cindy is working from home for the week and taking care of the babies (they are also in 1/2 day care, which is a whole other anxiety for me to deal with) and I brought OG with me so she could spend some time with her 1/2 sister Callie and her moms.

We got here early Friday evening. 1st thing Saturday morning I brought OG to D and M's because they offered to watch her for the day while I did stuff around my brother's house.
Olivia has always been slow to warm, but not this time. We walked in the door, OG and Callie looked at each other for about 2 seconds, then ran off into the basement to play. Uhhhh...excuse me, aren't you going to miss me? He-llo-ooo? No reply. Gone. Fine. Whatever.
Darcy said later when I spoke to her that these girls seemed to have some kind of connection. It was immediate and lasting, though they'd only met once before - more than 7 months ago - a lifetime for a 3 and 4-year-old. She was amazed by their interactions all day long. I was, simply, jealous that I couldn't be there to see it all unfold.

I'm a little surprised, but so completely thrilled that these children, all of these donor sibs, have unexplained connections with each other. It was apparent, too, when we were in Utah. OG and Syd took to each other without a moment's hesitation, Olivia just adored Cam and Spence and Syd took over as Mommy to Jake and Emma. I look forward now to spending time with Hollie and Toni and seeing the same wonderful relationships blossom with Mikaela and Kyron.

Back to the story...
I called later to arrange to pick her up and they all had such a fabulous time that they offered to keep her overnight. OK, no problem. I get it. It's much more fun to be there riding bikes and playing with all the toys and watching movies and playing with Callie and her cool moms than to sit around here and help me clean.
So last night I just cried myself to sleep - lonely without all my girls and my little boy. Boo hoo.

This morning I woke up, showered, and got ready to go meet Darcy and the girls at the mall. We were going to eat, play, ride the carousel and the train, play some more, then I would leave, happily, with my little girl. Maybe not. It didn't turn out that way. Darcy offered to keep her another night because Callie and Olivia couldn't bare to part ways. They were convinced that it would be best for Olivia to live with Callie and I could come visit whenever I wanted. They used all their best arguments, but I am not sold. I want my little girl back! It's the 1st time ever that she would rather be without me. I'm not sure I can bare it.

I'll make another attempt at retrieving my daughter tomorrow and we'll see how that goes.

For now, I leave you, a lonely Mama in Pittsburgh.

PS - Darcy lost her camera, so I left mine with her to take pictures tonight and will post some pix when I get it back.

Video Blog

2008-04-15T21:11:00.012-04:00

Just some videos that cover the last few days of our lives...

Emma and Jake are getting along splendidly...for now.

How do I make this thing go?

Play with me Sis, PLEEZ!

Dumped for a bubble machine

Confession

2008-04-09T17:02:00.004-04:00

Sooooo, I've mentioned more than once and all my friends know that I don't have crushes on women like they do. They're always talking about "so-and-so is smokin' hot" and "if they could...".
WELL, I've seen the light! And her name is Jackie.
I was flipping through the channels while I was on the stepper today and I'd almost resigned myself to watching yet another rerun of Americ*'s Next Top M*del when I decided to keep moving down the guide. Hmmm, I've seen some previews for this program and it looked interesting, maybe I'll check it out. Brav0TV has a new show called W0rkout and Jackie is the owner of a gym/training studio in Beverly Hills. They follow her through her days and nights and all the drama, bla, bla, bla. I'm hooked.
Gotta go, I'm taking a short trip to L.A. (hehe)

Climb Every Mountain

2008-04-02T11:20:00.010-04:00

I had to rearrange the room - AGAIN! These kids are freakin' monkeys. If there is a way to get on top of it, they will do it. All they really want is to get to the bow window and sit on the ledge and pound on the window and push (or break) it open so they can escape.

Hey, Emma! Check me out - c'mon up!

OK. Ummm, I don't really like it up here - I'm out.

Whatever. I'm goin' up and over and out. FREEDOM!

What? I wasn't doin' nothin'!

***********UPDATED***********

per KJ's comment - see below...

DUCT TAPE...

for Jake's button-pushing tendency

and his drawer-pulling fetish

bungee cords to come...

Basket Case

2008-03-31T21:27:00.007-04:00

No, I'm not talking about me. Here are a few hints - anyone seeing a theme?

Where there is a basket, Jake will find it and climb in. Olivia joins him whenever possible.

Jake and Emm had their 1 year checkup and they're lookin' good. Jake is still resisting walking and here's no sign of real words from either of them - just a lot of grunting. I'm sure it means something.

The stats are as follows...

Emma
weight - 18 lbs 12 oz - 25th percentile
height - 29 inches - 50th percentile
head - 17 3/4 inches - 50th percentile

Jake
weight - 20 lbs4 oz - 20th percentile
height - 30 1/2 inches - 75th percentile
head - 18 1/8 inches - 50th percentile

I leave you with pictures of them in these frog and duck robes they got for Easter. The second pic of them really captures how much in love they truly are with each other. I rue the day this lovefest ends and the fighting begins.

Happy Easter

2008-03-24T21:39:00.008-04:00

And Jake took his 1st steps. It was only 2, but he finally did it. I have no pictures because it was about 7 at night and we had been running since 7 AM - church, store, Easter dinner for 20, egg hunt, etc., etc.

I don't really want him to walk yet. Emma is running me ragged. But secretly, I want this sweet boy to catch up a little, lest he spend his entire life a few steps behind his smaller, crazier twin sister - she is completely insane. Manic! Whacko!

Easter was a hoot. OG got a basket full of goodies for the 1st time (yes, we deprived her until now.) Meanwhile, she doesn't even really like chocolate so much, which actually makes me doubt that they used my egg. Whatever - more for me. She didn't even know who the Easter Bunny was until the night before when I suddenly realized I better explain where this basket and all the candy and stuff came from. It dawned on me that I have no idea who he is either, so I made up some crap about him being some crazy-ass rabbit who travels the world and brings baskets for all the kids because he's so happy that Jesus came back to life. PLEEZ just cut me a break on this one. I have been struggling for weeks about how to explain The Resurrection to a 3 1/2 year old without giving her nightmares for life, so I had no creative juices left for the Easter Freakin' Bunny.

So she got lots of other fun stuff, like dental floss picks (don't even say a word!) and rubber stamps and pens and bubbles.

The family Easter egg hunt was great - 3 kids this year. Next year Emma and Jake will join. The weather was wonderful - 45 and sunny - it was like a heatwave here.

Then I played some driveway soccer with my 6 feet tall, 14 year old twin nephews and got knocked on my ass - actually felt good. I felt young again.

Gotta go - solid chocolate bunny calling - "EAT ME, EAT ME".

Emma mistook this bunny for chocolate

Hippity hop - find the most eggs

anything for an egg...even a poke in the eye

as it turns out, OG is fairly competetive - where DOES she get that from - must be the donor!

OG and her fashion plate cousin Alex - stopped for a second to pose

OG and Aunt Karen, who brought the best cookie ever made

Jake and his Godparents

Emma and Jake's Birthday Party

2008-03-17T12:47:00.009-04:00

***UPDATED*** see below

Yeah, I know it was a little early, but their birthday is in the middle of this week and who wants to throw a party the day before Easter? Not us. It was a lot of fun and the good Lord blessed us with a beautiful day, even though the weathermen called for rain. I should have known.
Here are some pictures from the day.

Cake batter ice cream layered with red velvet cake and sprinkles and covered with rich butercream icing and Kit Kats. YUMMM!

Emma's new trick - "oy oy oy"

Fun with Elefun

Ummm, what do I do with this?

Like this? Turns out, Jake is a very neat cake eater - not much of a mess at all.

Looks good, but...

who the hell put peas in this cake?

A short update.
As you may know, Emma is walking, well running, really, and Jake refuses to even stand most of the time. He will, however, hold on to things and push them while walking behind. So they got these 2 little push/ride-on motorcycles for their birthday that they have not been able to get enough of. Thanks Aunt Chris!

Emma thought it a good idea to get on Jake's and let him push her. He started speeding along, not watching where he was going...

Emma bailed and took off as fast as she could in the other direction.

Smart girl. Jake crashed.

Alright, Alright Already!

2008-02-26T09:33:00.006-05:00

Get off my back!
I'm kidding of, course. This is for all my friends who keep asking me to post the pix from Utah. Allow me to clarify. For all my family and friends who won't blog, don't comment and use my blog to try to keep up with my life because every time they call me am in the throws of a crisis with 3 very loud children competing for my attention by screaming and crying and whining and tugging at my clothes and my extremities (to include nipples, which seem to be Emma's favorite thing to grab and hang onto these days).

Anyway, I love that you all want to share in my life and are so interested the time we spent with our "other family".

So here they are - a gazillion pix from our trip.

The babies had their own kind of fun...
going through security at the airport

playing with fake celery

The Discovery Museum and The Sesame Street Body Exhibit were so much fun

The indoor amusement park was awesome!

Sleep was running theme for the kids - they were exhausted every night when we got back to the hotel

We went sledding on a great hill and the girls were VERY brave

Happy Birthday Mom!

2008-02-17T13:40:00.002-05:00

Today Marge would have been 78.
It's the tragic tale of a life lost way too soon. She has been gone for 9 years and the time has flown. While she's been gone, so many things have happened in my life; so many things I wish we could have shared, so many things she should have been here for, so many things she would have been so proud of.
I know she's looking down on all of us and that her spirit is all around us - keeping us safe and making us feel loved every single day.

I love you, Mom. And I miss you. Happy Birthday.

The Air Out There

2008-02-15T11:24:00.003-05:00

We're home - and what a week it was! I left my camera in Utah, so I have no pix to post, but you can get an idea from Roleplayingwithkids of how much fun we had. And thanks to K and J and the kids for their hospitality and all the good times.

There MUST have been something in the Utah air. We got home late Tuesday afternoon, and because of the 2 hour time difference and the fact that all the kids slept on the plane, I thought it might be a later night than usual. But, the Gods were watching over us. The babes were in bed at 6:30 and OG asleep by 7:30. We retired shortly after at 9PM.

Lord, if I have ever done anything good in my life, let them sleep until at least 6 am - PLEEEEEEEEZ!

They slept until about 8 - not bad. Me - very grateful.

Bedtime was back to normal - babes at 7, OG at 8.

Valentine's Morning - and they all knew it. Happy Valentine's Day Mama!

6AM - Cindy decides to work from home - gives babies bottles, calls in, comes back to bed.

8:34 AM - eyes open. silence. hmmmmmm. lie there a few moments, enjoying peace and quiet.
Brush teeth, wash face, go downstairs, make coffee, look for kids. house empty.

9AM - Go into Cindy's office, no kids there. hmmmmmm.
Could it be? Are they still alseep?

9:05 - Emma wakes - bring her down, eats breakfast.
9:15 - Olivia wakes - comes down, eats breakfast.
9:30 - Jake wakes - bring him down, eats breakfast.
We all sit at the table together for another 15 minutes and I am overwhelmed with how lucky I am - what a great life this is.
until...
life gets crazy out of hand in late afternoon.
House was clean, now a mess.
Babies were happy - now screaming.
Olivia was occupied - now bored.
I need to get in the shower and get ready for my romantic dinner out with my girl - she'll be here at 6:15 and I better be ready.
She made reservations at "our place". We used to go there every V day, but haven't been there in 4 years and I am so excited.
Babies won't take afternoon nap because they woke late, took late nap. Can you say C-R-A-N-K-Y! But I need a shower. So I put them in their cribs - screaming (BAD MAMA!), so I could shower and not worry that they are in the danger they always seem to find. I felt so guilty, but I needed to unstink myself, so...
I get out of shower, bring them in my room, at which point they are crawling all over the place, hanging on my legs, pulling on me while I try to prettify.

Cin gets home 45 minutes late, beeps (my father would have shot any date that blew the horn for me in the driveway), I run out and get in car and we're off.
Romantic dinner.
Try to imagine it...
appies
curried butternut squash soup
salmon tartare with shaved pickled onions and jalapeno cream sauce

entrees
rack of lamb, whipped potatoes, green beans and charred fresh sundried tomatoes
filet mignon with scalloped potatoes (caused involuntary orgasm upon entering mouth)

desserts
creme brulee (and I only stole 1 bite, J)
molten chocolate cake w/drizzled raspberry sauce and creme fresh

Could anything top this night?
YES!
Babes wake at 4:30 - get bottle. Back to sleep - UNTIL 10:30!
I'm thinking this will never happen again, but happy for today.

No Time for Words

2008-02-05T11:14:00.000-05:00

I'm too busy packing, but I had to clear my memory card so I can take LOADS of pictures in UTAH!
I leave you with these, the last shots I will have taken of my darlings in NJ.
Maybe not - I'll probably whip it out at the airport.

OY! All this packing is giving me a headache.

"Let's get physical, physical. I wanna get physica-a-al.
Let's get ino physical. Lemme hear your body rock".

Everyone pitched in to help clean up after dinner.

All that work made Jake very hungry, so he stole Emma's bottle before retiring for the evening.

Countdown

2008-02-03T21:34:00.000-05:00

2 days, 7 hours til we leave for Utah. Yes, we are leaving the house at 5:30 AM Wed. so we have time to get to the airport, park, drag the children through security, have breakfast, tire them out and board for a 7AM flight to Utah, where all my children will immediately fall asleep and stay that way for 5 hours til we land. Are you there, God, it's me, Elyse. Did you get all that?

Today we laundered every piece of clothing in the house, down to the last little dirty sock. In fact, we are sitting here naked watching the Superbowl as our beloved Giants have just given up a touchdown and are down 14-10 with under 3 minutes left in the game . AAAAAGGGHHHHH!

OK, pause for a moment. We just saw the most disgusting commercial. The one where a big, dirty ole tow truck driver attaches jumper cables to his nipples to charge the car battery for a woman whose car is dead. GROSS!

All the kids' clothes are packed. The electronics are charged. Olivia has 2 new movies to watch on the plane, luggage tags are filled out, our clothes are laid out and ready for placement in suitcase.

So we are almost ready for our trip - logistically speaking. I am not ready, however, for all the anxiety I will undoubtedly feel about how many dirty looks we will get and about whether I will have the ability to ignore them and not cause a scene on the plane and have us all kicked off. I WILL be refilling my Xan.ax prescription before we leave.

WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! Giants made an amazing play!

OMG - touchdown! SCORE! 17-14. PLEEEEZ hold on, Big Blue, pleeeeeeeeeez!

Gotta go, having a heart attack. Update tomorrow - maybe.

Too excited. Can't wait to go to Utah. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Beginning of the End

2008-01-30T13:34:00.000-05:00

Well, it happened. Last night I was on the floor with Emma and Olivia just hanging out. Emma kept using my body to stand then she'd let go and stand there, on her own, for about 5 seconds at a time. She did this about 15 times. The very next time she pulled up, she turned and took 2 steps away from me. I freaked. It must have been a fluke. So I let her pull up again and moved back from her. She took 2 steps toward me. Then again and again. I yelled for Cindy. Poor Emma, I scared her. She did it one more time, then she decided that was enough. I'm really in for it now.

I had a surprise when I walked out to get the mail this morning. This huge branch fell from the tree in our back yard. It's huge - about the circumference of my thigh (no rude comments please). We averted a small disaster. It came really close to our window. Thank Goodness. I also realized we forgot to take the wreath down from over the door. Oops! I'm seriously considering leaving it here 'til next Christmas.

As I was making breakfast, Olivia was playing with her magnet letters, lining them up on the counter. I paid no attention. It was only when I came back in the kitchen after everyone ate that I realized what was there.

K-E-G

and H-O

Keg !#$%^&* Ho - I'm sure we all know one.

10 Months Stats and a Mini Vacation

2008-01-28T15:40:00.000-05:00

The babies' 9 month checkup was on Friday, a month late, due to the fact I can only take them on a Friday between 11am and 1pm because Cindy works from home on Fridays and will only go with me on her lunch hour and I WILL NEVER (repeat, NEVER!) take them by myself again after the fiasco at their 7 month checkup, when they were still in their carrier seats, by the way, and now they aren't, which makes it 100 times more difficult to get them from the minivan into the office because there isn't a ramp, only steps to get in the door, which is entirely thoughtless, but I love this Dr., so I suffer through it, just as you suffered through this run-on sentence from hell.

Anyhoo...my beans are growing well, but Emma is still a peanut and Jake is a tall skinny boy. He's built just like Max (our dog).

Emma

weight - 16 lbs 15 oz (10th percentile)

height - 28" (50th percentile)

head - 17.5" (30th percentile)

Jake

weight - 19 lbs (15th percentile)

height - 29 7/8" (85th percentile)

head - 17 7/8" (50th percentile)

Here they are - posing as usual.

Emma does tricks on demand...

MWAAAAAAAAAAA!

Jake...not so much - he just looks at the camera and smiles. His hair is growing back and I can't stop rubbing his head.

We went to the Catskills this weekend to our friends' house for a mini getaway without the kids. While we were there, we did nothing but relax, relax and relax. We got to see a movie in an actual theater - the 1st in many many months. We saw Ju.no. WARNING***Do not see this movie if there is the tiniest little piece of you that wants another baby. I was balling and am now ACHING to be pregnant and give birth again.

These are our hottie boyfriends, David and Dan.

This is Cindy's other boyfriend, Treemon.

Where Does She Get This Stuff?

2008-01-21T21:02:00.000-05:00

Saturday night...I go into my room to change for bed. I undress, go into our bathroom, sit on the toilet, trying to pee and to have a moment of peace. Olivia walks in, marches directly over to me, points at my chest and says with the straightest of faces, "Mama, your boobs are cranky."
"What?"
"They're cranky. And they're on wrong. They should be there (pointing to my back)." She stands in front of me, staring, waiting for me to say something.
I think to myself, but I dare not reply out loud, "You would be cranky too if you looked like this. You just wait 'til you have kids and your boobs inflate and deflate, then inflate and deflate again. Then you come talk to me about my boobs being cranky".
I could do no more than look at her, using all my powers of perception, pondering her existence, staring into her eyes, through them, trying desperately to get inside her little head, wondering, "Who is this child and where did she come from".
After a moment of silence, she turns and leaves without another word.
I look down at my boobs.
Sadly, she's right. My boobs are very cranky.

THE END

A BIG GIRL ROOM
Olivia's been telling us for weeks that her bed and her blankets are too small for her, so our project this weekend was giving her a big girl room. We had a day bed in her room BC (before children). We decided it would be best to use the trundle from the daybed rather than the bed with the frame since her room is so small. Cindy went and dragged the mattress out of storage this morning, then we went out shopping and OG chose a set for her new big girl bed. She also begged for a clock so she could learn to tell time and insisted that we hang it right next to her bed. Yippee! (insert sarcasm). Now I have to go learn how to teach a 3-year-old how to tell time. I have no clue! (Anyone?)
She also wanted the plaque that said, "Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep." It's her special prayer that we say each night before bed. Of course, we got it.
We came home, cleared out the room, cleaned it, put the bed together, put the new linens on, rearranged the furniture and hung the clock. She LOVES it! She was so excited to sleep in it that she voluntarily went in her room and took a nap this afternoon.
It really looks so sweet. This picture doesn't do it justice, but it's the best one I could get.

Long Time No Blog

2008-01-15T09:15:00.000-05:00

First order of business...a HUGE Blogger Buddy hug for K and J. They're going through a little bit of hell and are in our prayers daily. We love you, ladies. Stay strong, hang on to your faith. MWAAAAAAA!
In other news, there's a whole lotta nothin' going on around here.
Olivia has officially turned 30. The things she says and does make my head spin. She cracks me up several times a day and generally makes life so sweet.
Speaking of sweet, Jake and Emma are well on their ways to being toddlers. They are crawling and pulling up and scooting right along. They can cross the room in 5 seconds flat.
They're eating real veggies and cheerios and pasta and making a mess that I can never get ahead of, but it's all a lot of fun.
Olivia is mastering the scooter she got for Christmas, Jake got his 1st haircut (Cindy made me do it!) and Emma has found a new place to nap.
AND...I am mastering my new i.Pod Na.no and I got these really cool rainbow protective stickers for it and my cell phone - check 'em out.

Over Way Too Fast

2007-12-26T15:57:00.000-05:00

Christmas has come and gone in a flash - again. Only this year it went even faster. My brother and Hien are usually here for a few days before and until the day after Christmas and they typically do most of the cooking for Christmas dinner. This year they came for a couple days, but left on the 23rd because they have a new puppy and she is still very needy and hyper, so they decided to have a (semi)quiet Christmas at home by themselves, rather than chase her around the house all day among the 27 other guests in our home on Christmas. So, Cindy and I were on our own and, while everything went off without a hitch - almost - I got to spend a lot less time with our guests than I would have liked, even with all the help plating, serving and cleaning we got from a couple of WONDERFUL women. Thanks Ladies!
Overall, an amazing day, as always.
Olivia finally gets Christmas and she really made out this year; a couple games, some crafts, beads, markers, coloring books, crayons, paints, more glue and pom poms, toys, clothes, a camera, a computer a scooter, annual Collector's Edition Barbie, etc, etc.
Her favorite things: annual snowglobe, underwear with stars on them and a 5 pack of lip gloss.
My favorite: contribution to her college fund.
I think my favorite thing about Olivia and Christmas this year was the sheer pleasure she derived from giving rather than receiving. Makes me proud.
Emma and Jake are completely clueless and I intend to take advantage of that for the next 2 years, but I think they had a blast anyway.
We made cookies on Christmas Eve to leave for Santa, then went to Christmas Eve service, during which Olivia made an appearance as a Traveler and an Angel in the Christmas pageant.
We left the cookies and milk for Santa and carrots for the reindeer. Lo and behold when she woke Christmas morning and ran to the fireplace where we left them, they were gone and she screamed and woke the whole house. FUN!

It only gets better form here.

OG got a dress from my brother and just HAD to put it on immediately. Then they popped bubble wrap together.

My angel at the Christmas Pageant.

Santa did come - and he ate all his cookies.

OG (the lion) and her cousin Alex (the princess - and yes, he's a boy) couldn't wait to get out of their Christmas clothes.

OG was a good big sister - teaching Emma and Jake how to use the toy she gave them.

We FINALLY got a pic of ourselves on Christmas - this never happens.

And me and my girl - this really never happens.

OG thought it would be fun to go in Annabelle's crate (my brother's new puppy).

OG's gift to Emma.

Holiday Show

2007-12-13T13:18:00.000-05:00

Olivia and her classmates put on a Holiday Show at schoolyesterday. The lights were off, so the video is a little dark, but you will get the gyst.

The 3 year olds were dresses as Rockstars because the song they did for their big finale was Bruce Spring.steen's version of "Santa Claus is Comin' To Town".

Decisions, Decisions...

2007-12-10T08:48:00.000-05:00

We spent yesterday afternoon, during halftime of the 1:00 game, of course, trying to get a picture for our Christmas cards this year. After a half hour of posing, primping, reprimping, fixing dresses, etc. we got a couple shots to choose from. Her are the finalists.

I really wanted to go with the picture of the whole family, but Jake isn't looking at the camera. I could switch his head with another picture where he is looking and smiling, but it feels a little creepy. Besides, what's the fun in that?

And the other is just my angels. They were so good for me. I'll enjoy it while it lasts. i have a feeling that next year will be a nightmare.

Picture With Santa

2007-12-07T09:57:00.000-05:00

Merry Christmas!
It's that time of year again. I took the kids to get the annual picture with Santa yesterday. Do you know what it's like to bathe 3 children, dress them up, load them in the car, drive to the mall, unload the monstrous stroller, pack them all in it, get through the entrance doors (where nobody will hold the door for you), take off all that bulky winter outerwear, brush their hair (Emma has none, so that made it easier), wipe the snotty noses, unhook the straps and take them out of the stroller, set them on Santa's lap and get them ALL to smile at the same time? Piece of cake! Well, Emma didn't smile so much, but at least she wasn't crying.
But we did it and here's the finished product.

The Most Appalling Thing I've Ever Read

2007-11-29T15:51:00.000-05:00

No doubt you've all been hearing that Massachusetts is considering a ban on spanking. I am a HUGE opponent of any kind of physical punishment of children, so I thought it would be interesting to take a look at the new research. I Googled "spanking children" it and this website came up...www.smartspanking.com

IF you decide to go to this website, be prepared to be appalled. This will be immediately followed by intense anger and an uncontrollable urge to choke the life out of the F*ING idiot who wrote it AND all the so-called "parents" who contributed to the site by giving suggestions on "how to spank effectively".

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After you read it, go hug your kids.

Equal Time for OG and Jake

2007-11-28T17:08:00.000-05:00

I got more than a few admonishments for only having video of one of my children on my blog yesterday. So...here are Olivia and Jake. Of course, Olivia knew the camera was on, as you will soon see.

Finally!

2007-11-27T21:09:00.000-05:00

I have been waiting and waiting and waiting fo my 2 little beans to be able to sit up without help. They try so hard, but usually fall over seconds after I set them up. Emma was a champ today and sat up for a really long time. I, being the blogger I am, was able to get it on video.

PS - Jake was sleeping.

Gingerbread Massacre

2007-11-26T14:10:00.000-05:00

Rainy gloomy day here in NJ and we're stuck in the house because Jake and Emma are still very sick - their brains are leaking out through their noses and they are coughing up their lungs. We've had to come up with a lot of things to entertain ourselves today and the house is a disaster area - and SO WHAT!

It's 2pm now and we are all still in our pj's. We have painted - on paper and our bodies, colored, played with every toy, built a Potato Head family and ripped it apart. The most fun by far, though, was the Gingerbread Massacre.

I sold my soul the other day and bought premade, precut gingerbread cookies in the shapes of men, women and Christmas trees. I NEVER thought I'd buy premade dough, but I felt like I would need them one day this week. I heard bad weather was coming and I thought it would be nice for OG and me to bake one day. I was NOT going to bake homemade chocolate chip cookies for fear of eating them ALL before Cindy even made it home from work. She would wonder what smelled so good and then I would have to lie and say it was a candle. So in order to avoid the scenario, I just bought the damn premade gingerbread because I don't like gingerbread and I won't have to be tempted because I WILL NOT gain back the weight I've lost - not for gingerbread cookies! I'm getting off the subject.

The cookies on the package look so pretty - perfectly baked, whole and beautifully decorated.

Olivia and I had an awesome time . She was very patient in pulling them apart and there were only a few casualties - a headless or limbless gingerbread man (or woman - they actually have some of the cutouts in skirts!) here and there. She was meticulous about placing them on the cookie sheet.

Then I did something REALLY stupid. What was I thinking? Can you guess? Take a minute, study the picture...

That's right, I put on the frosting and let Olivia put on her fishie sprinkles on BEFORE I put them in the oven. DUH! I just wasn't thinking. So all the poor little gingerbread people and Christmas trees sizzled and burned. Then the massacre ensued when I tried to scrape them from the cookie sheet.

And my cookie sheet didn't fair too well either - that's gonna be a bitch to clean!

This poor guy got an ulcer from my foolishness. Olivia thought he tasted pretty good, though.

All in all it was a lot of fun - and I only ate 1. and NO, it was NOT worth it. Damn!

Gotta go. Snoopy's about to have an operation and I've been asked to scrub in.

PS - I just really looked at this picture. Could my house be a bigger mess? Again - DON"T CARE!

"Look, Mama. I'm Beautiful"

2007-11-21T12:34:00.000-05:00

"Yes you are, my darling."

This is how I was wakened by my little girl this morning. Apparently, she had entertained herself in my makeup bag for awhile before she decided it was time for me to get up too.

She chose a lovely shade of mauve for her lips/face and Mommy's nighttime face cream slathered in her hair was the perfect way to finish off her look.

It's dreary and wet - AGAIN!
My friend's 7-year old twins are here while their mom went to an appointment. They wanted to play soccer outside and Olivia didn't, so she got really sad. She decided that making jewelry would make her happy, so we whipped out the pipe cleaner and beads. Here's the bracelet she made for Cindy.

Photo Shoot

2007-11-19T16:38:00.000-05:00

Not much going on around here. It snowed today, so we went to he mall for 5 hours. And I only spent $14.97. I bought 3 belts (it's my new fashion focus), which were regularly priced at $58, $68 and $78 ($204 total). My price - $4.99 each. The high I felt kept me rolling for hours.

Yesterday was a lazy day. In our quest to continue losing weight, we bought a Stair.master. Another amazing bargain from Craigs.list. We have each lost 10 pounds and have quite a few pounds to go, so we had to keep it interesting. The elliptical is great, but I was getting bored. And I LOVE LOVE LOVE the stepper. We will christen it tonight.

We had a photo shoot yesterday because we really need to get some pictures of the babies up on the walls. Right now they are a shrine to OG and we are feeling a little guilty about it, so...

Jake doesn't have a single bad angle and the camera loves him! Emma always looks surprised and poor baby, her cheeks are chapped. Olivia is getting her poses down. She was crackin' me up. She would strike a pose, then run to me and say, "Let me see it". What would she have done in the age of pictures that needed to be developed? What would I do?! Here they are, just an afternoon of fun and photos.

Passie, Be Gone!

2007-11-16T10:51:00.000-05:00

Who needs a freakin' passie anyway? Not Emma. Not Jake. At this early juncture, I'm fairly sure that little thing was better at pacifying me than it was them.

So here's how it went yesterday.
When they woke screaming from their naps, I refrained from immediately shoving the passies in their mouths to quiet them. I sang instead. Because I am completely tone deaf and cannot carry a tune in a bucket, one would think this would make a baby cry more. It did not. Emma was laughing at me though. Hmmmm...
I brought them downstairs and we played. They got a bottle. We played. They ate dinner. We played. They screamed. I put them in the swing and the bouncer. They calmed down. They got restless. We played some more. Last bottle. Bed. 25 minutes of screaming. Silence.
Not bad. We'll see how it goes tonight.
They woke screaming around 2:30. I guess they didn't cry long, because I fell right back to sleep. I woke to them screaming again at 5:30. Bottle. Back to sleep, no screaming.

This morning went fairly smoothly as well. They woke around 8. I packed them up, drove OG to school, came home, fed them breakfast, played a little, gave them a bottle, then put them down for a nap. They cried for about 5 minutes, then off to dreamland.
After nap, we went shopping. Even when they were in their carseats waiting for me to get my bag together and my shoes on, they were quiet. Normally I would have thrown the passies in their mouths to make sure hey stayed quiet. We came home around 3 and I gave them a bottle, played a little, then put them for a nap. They cried up until about 2 minutes ago. So maybe it was about 10 minutes. Now they are sleeping soundly.

I did realize, however, I am playing with them a lot more than I had been to keep them occupied. Shame on me for not playing with them more before and just sticking the passies in their mouths to quiet them. SHAME!

So I guess what I'm saying is that I was scared and avoided this for too long and I am so happy (for now). I guess we'll see if they can keep up the good work.

Thanks to my little beans for being so amazing and making me realize how much I was missing out on when I was doing dishes, vacuuming, cleaning, etc. instead of playing with you. I love you!

Shouldn't I Know?

2007-11-15T17:15:00.000-05:00

I feel like I've lost my mind; like I have no idea what I'm doing. Maybe it's because I am sleep deprived for the last week.

All of a sudden, Olivia will NOT eat dinner. Every time I mention the word, her immediate response in the whiniest voice I have ever heard (which, by the way, hardly ever rears its ugly head anymore unless I say "dinner") is...
"I dooooon't liiiiiiiike diiiiiiiinnnnnnnner".
WHAT?!#$%^&*
What do you mean you don't like dinner? What kind of statement is that? It makes NO SENSE! STOP SAYING IT!!!!!
What the hell is going on there?

I began wondering today - are the babies eating enough? enough bottles? enough formula in each bottle? should they be drinking water? juice? should they be eating mashed fruit? veggies?should Jake be able to grab and put his passie in his mouth himself? shouldn't they be sitting up on their own by now? saying more? babbling more?
I feel like a first time mom on speed. I don't feel like I have a handle on anything right now. I have forgotten everything I have ever known about milestones - even when Olivia hit them.

The babies are not sleeping well at all. I am getting up 2 or 3 times a night because they are screaming their heads off - and ALWAYS, it is because they have lost their pacifiers.
I've had enough! I made an executive decision about 20 minutes ago. NO MORE PASSIES!
I know, I know. I'm crazy, right? I can't take it anymore. I will gladly trade a few nights of screaming for a lifetime of self-soothing. Olivia never took a passie and always hummed to soothe herself. She still does it when she's tired and eating. So they can self soothe too.
There! I've drawn my line in the sand. I'll let you know how it goes if I don't jump off a bridge first. (GULP)

I am anxiosuly awaiting suggestions...about anything! Even for a new hair do.

I Love My Wife

2007-11-12T15:33:00.000-05:00

*************UPDATE*****************
My turn! Cindy woke a little after midnight last night and was violently ill. She continued to be sick through the rest of the night and called out of work this morning. Poor baby! So now I get to take care of her today, though I have a feeling she will sleep most of the day.

**************************************

I have been a very bad blogger. I haven't had time for a lot of anything but comforting babies. They have had very bad colds for close to 2 weeks and a few days ago it seems they have become respiratory infections. To top it off, I woke up yesterday feeling nauseated, with a headache and dizziness. Cindy stayed home with the babies and I took OG to church anyway and after the service and Sunday school, we stayed for a bit in coffee hour and chatted with our friends. Olivia was sitting in my lap, saying her belly hurt and she had to poop. As we rose to walk to the bathroom, she pulled an exorcist. She puked all over the floor - in a 3-foot radius around her little body. The poor thing was so scared. She's only vomited once before - and she slept through the whole thing, so she had no idea what was happening.
By the time we got home, it was my turn. I started feeling very sick and the headache was torturous, so I lay down. I ended up vomiting as well a little later in the afternoon. Soon after, it was Jake's turn. He vomited carrots all over himself as soon as he was finished eating them. Jake and Emma had such sick-smelling diarrhea all day and their little butts must have been burning. Then Olivia took another turn at puking - ALL OVER THE RUG. So Cindy decided it was time for a "family bath". She bathed them, put them to bed, then I did the same. Cindy slept downstairs in the hopes of avoiding getting sick.

So...the REAL reason for this post is to thank my honey for stepping up. She called her boss last night to tell him she'd be working from home today so she could help take care of everyone. No easy feat for my wife. She NEVER stays home.
She woke early this morning and took care of the babies and Olivia and let me sleep in. She helped out all day long. She fed the babies and Olivia (though all 3 barely ate at all). She changed nasty diapers, soiled pajamas and sheets several times and amused a pent up toddler while trying to check and respond to emails.

So here's to you, honey. THANK YOU! I love you.

Love,
Me

How Hot in October?

2007-10-24T09:38:00.000-04:00

Oy! Is it hot here! The last few days have raised the mercury to between 77 and 82 degrees - and it's humid. It's October for hell's sake. It's sick. I tried putting away all our spring and summer clothes in bins and storing them in the attack, but I've had to tap into them to dress Olivia and myself for this weather.

The sun was so bright and hot the babies needed sunhats and my fair haired little girl needed long sleeves so she wouldn't burn.

This night, the temperature dropped way down and it was a frigid 65, so I had to break out the long sleeves and hats for the babies.

I as waiting for a cold, rainy day to break out these new paints, but that day may never come, so I dug out an old shirt and my little artist went to work.

It was a hot and humid 80 last night and you know what comes with heat and humidity...mosquitoes. And what one has, the other must have, so...

These gorgeous summer PJ's are from her 2 uncles. They brought them back from Vietnam for her and she wears them to death. I guess it's goodbye to the feeties for now.

Olivia has been trying to perfect her bike-riding skills. Notice the short sleeve tshirt and the jeans rolled up to prevent overheating.

She is a real pro at pedaling, but has yet to master steering and braking.

NOT GOING!

2007-10-22T16:46:00.000-04:00

Memory Walk 2007

2007-10-21T16:52:00.001-04:00

On Wednesday, the 24th, it will be 7 years that my dad has been gone. We lost him after a long battle with Alzheimer's.

So this year, we decided to participate in the Memory Walk to raise funds for the NYC chapter of the Alzheimer's Association. Not only do they provide money for research to find a cure, but they spend a great deal of the money they raise to provide support for people living with Alzheimer's and their caregivers.

It was a beautiful crisp autumn morning and the sun was shining bright. It wasn't long before the day warmed up and it was a beautiful walk through Riverside Park and along the Hudson River.

Thankyou to my family for walking with me and helping me raise money.

Thankyou to all my friends for your generous donations.

Thankyou to my brother for your HUGE donation and support. I know you would have come if you could have. Wish you were here. Love You!

This is the Memory Wall, where people wrote messages to the loved ones they have lost to the disease. Our message was for "Big Tony".

On your mark, get set, go!The view of the river from the bridge was gorgeous.OG walked a good part of the course and she only tripped over her shirt once! We did it!

A Little Dose of Baby

2007-10-20T09:15:00.000-04:00

A little dose of baby boy for those of you who asked, and especially for you, K.

Emma wasn't up to performing, so you can catch her another time.

Chicken Dancing

2007-10-19T16:23:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was fun. Our niece came to visit with her little girl, baby Ava. Her son was in school, but Olivia was home and we had a chance for the babies get to know each other and for Olivia to hang with Ava.

After she left and everyone napped (sort of, but not really), we had lots of playtime. Olivia was all about her chicken and we danced and danced and danced and danced (you get the picture). Then he got tired and needed a nap, so we all had to be quiet. She shushed the babies and me about 20 times before it was all over.

Then we had a photo shoot for everyone before Mommy got home from work.Is he a handsome devil or what!!!!!! A bit of a ladies man if you ask me. He knows just when to flash the dimple.Nice nose! Can you tell that Emma only likes her orange veggies? She gags on anything green (hmmmm)And, of course, the little monkey posed for a few herself.

Uh, where did she get this pose from?

Just Having Fun

2007-10-18T08:13:00.000-04:00

Not much going on around here, just life in the baby lane.
And I just haven't had the time nor the inclination to put it all out there in my blog, so here's the week in pictures...

Jake and Emma this morning, just hangin' out. Everytime I look at them, I'm heartened to know they will always have each other. I can't imagine life with just one. I feel blessed.
My friend's 7 year old twins came over after church on Sunday and hung out for the day. They tried really hard to convince Olivia that you do not use your hands in soccer.

But she had other ideas. While I played soccer with the kids, Cindy cleaned up the leaves. There was so much rubber mulch mixed in with the leaves, and it was pretty expensive, so we wanted to save as much of it as possible. She told the kids she would give them 1 penny for each piece of mulch they picked up. I was so impressed that my girl came up with this idea. They were kept busy and out of trouble AND they were helping us. BRILLIANT! So they gathered them in a bucket...
and 1000 pieces later, we were $10 poorer. Then I wasn't so impressed."Hey, what's that in your mouth? Is that good?"
"I can't quite put my paw on that flavor, but it sure is yummy."It's getting cold around here (so I thought...yesterday it hit 75 degrees again) and I was excited to pull out the hats.
When we went shopping for fleece feetie pj's for Jake, OG "needed" some, too. Have you seen feetie pj's in a 5T? They are Ginormous!

Growing Up Way Too Fast

2007-10-11T16:31:00.000-04:00

Olivia went to the pumpkin patch yesterday with her class. It was pouring outside, so I had to find her rain boots from last year and prayed they would still fit. She was so excited to wear them, but when I finally located the little buggers, I noticed something that had escaped me for the last year that she has been wearing them - they were different sizes. Olivia stuffed her left foot into the smaller boot and she was off. Thankfully she was not in pain form her toes being squished, as I knew they were. She grabbed her beloved lunchbox and we were off. She was so excited to carry her lunchbox.

On the way home, we stopped at the store to buy a pair that fit, as we are expecting a lot of rain this week. These are the cutie patootie boots she picked out. Yes, I made sure both boots are the same size. On the way home from the store, she fell asleep in the minivan, clutching her lunchbox tight.

My babies are growing up - they are starting to hold their bottles by themselves, with a little prodding from Mama (thank goodness!) You'll notice Emma takes the entire nipple in her mouth - not the dainty flower she appears to be.

Jake and Emma wrestled a little yesterday and kept grabbing this little thingie from each other. I guess it was a preview of things to come.

Today we met a friend of mine at the Par.ty Gym and OG and Mikey played for a couple hours. I finally go a picture of me with the 2 babies. Jake took the opportunity to spew all over himself and me immediately before the 1st picture. Nice aim!

OG fell asleep on the way home and continued her nap for another hour. When she got up, she decided it was time to learn to write her letters. Here she is practicing. This makes me feel like she is growing up way too fast. (sniff sniff).

One More Reason to Call It Marriage

2007-10-10T22:50:00.001-04:00

Anyone Else?

2007-10-10T22:47:00.001-04:00

I've Found Myself

2007-10-10T22:34:00.001-04:00

"I'm not gay radical or anything. I'm just your basic lesbian soccer mom."

Life Goes On

2007-10-10T12:58:00.000-04:00

Though it's only been a week, it seems like a lifetime since we returned from our 1st vacation without the kids. Life must go on. And on it goes.

Olivia insists on getting out of bed every night and tries to convince us that she should sleep downstairs on the couch since Aunt Karen was here. Yup - that's what they did every night - slumber party in the living room. She also told on Aunt Karen abut a few other things. I fear I have a little tattle tale in the house. Better than keeping secrets, though. The nice thing about it is that she also tells on herself. She comes running when she does something wrong and tells me immediately. She cracks me up.

Which brings me to some funny stuff she does lately. She will just walk up to me, or anyone she feels comfortable with, and say "You're cracking me up!" I respond with, "You're crackin' me up!"

OG - "No, you're crackin' me up!"
Me - "No, you're crackin' me up!"
And on and on and on. FUN!

She stands in front of the mirror experimenting with different emotions and the associated faces. She yells at her reflection, "No, don't do that. You're going in a timeout" and makes several different angry faces, trying to determine which looks best with her eyes and hair.

She tells herself how pretty and smart she is and then makes a really cheezy smile and turns and tilts her head slightly to the side while looking at herself out of the corner of her eye.

She sings constantly, the words change, but the tune is always the same and I'm hoping the theme of the songs is not foreshadowing for some kind of personality disorder.
Example:
I like chicken, I don't like chicken. I had chicken today, no I didn't because I don't like chicken, I like chicken.
Get my drift?

The last thing she says every single night after her elaborate bedtime routine and after being tucked in, putting Cel.ine on, and blowing a kiss is..."turn the light off, OK?"
I have no idea why this started. We ALWAYS turn the hall light out. I think one night we forgot. BIG MISTAKE! Because ever since that night a few weeks ago, she HAS to tell us to do so. She is definitely on her way to "the couch".

Maaaaaahhhhhhh-mee, Maaaaaaahhhhhmeee.
Yes, Olivia?
Ummmmmmmmmmm. Why is there dirt on the ground?
Get it? She wants to talk to us, so she calls our name, all slow and sweet. Once we answer her, she needs a few seconds to think of something to say. She comes up with some real zingers.

The scene: Dining room table
Characters: Mommy, Mama, Olivia, Jake, Emma, The Owl.
What? An owl? Yes, an owl. But only Olivia can see it.
Right in the middle of dinner one night, she looked out the window and shouted sternly, "Go away Ow-ul. Don't get my food!"
She would not continue to eat unless Cindy and I also told the owl to go away and not to get her food. So we did - and now we do - almost every night. But only at the dining room table.

She will eat anything if we sing "If you're happy and you know it, eat your (insert food here)." It's amazing what a little singing can do.

And the #1 reason Olivia makes me LMAO is...

The other night, Olivia passed wind at dinner. I asked, "Did you fluff?" We have always called it fluffing and I'm not sure why, because we call everything else by it's proper biologic term. I just can' say "fart" or "pass wind/gas" to a 3 year old. However, Olivia continues to call it farting and we have no idea where she heard it and we can't get her to stop.
"Yes, I did. Ekshkyooz me."
"You're excused."
"It came out of my gina (rhymes with China)."
I can think of nothing to say. Cindy and I are laughing our asses off. Olivia joins in. Dinner ends.

Cindy starts blogging about her Mom and I put Olivia to bed.
Bedtime goes off without a hitch. But she is up 10 minutes after I shut the door. I hear little feet tiptoeing down the stairs. She emerges from the stairway into the den. "I wanna give Mommy a kiss goodnight".
"You already did".
"But she's sad and needs another one."
"OK, but right back to bed".
"OK".
Hugs Cindy and I put her back down. "Shut the light, OK?"
"Yes, Olivia, I will".
5 minutes pass - footsteps on the stairs, little face peeking around the corner.
"I want a family hug".
"OK".
We go into Cindy's office and do a family hug, including Max, and I take her back to bed.
"Now Olivia, if you get out of bed again and come downstairs, (me thinking fast) you'll be in trouble." WTF! Where did that come from and what does it mean? At this point, I really don't care. She agrees and I exit.
"Shut the light off, Mommy, OK?"
"OK, Olivia. Goodnight."
5 minutes later...footsteps in the hallway, bathroom door opens. I go up - she is on the toilet.
"I have to make peepee".
I can't get mad for this (and she knows it), so I'm stuck eating my words about getting in trouble. I obviously put the fear of God in her with my stern warning about getting up again. (NOT!)
"When you're done, make sure you wash your hands and go back to bed."
"OK".
I went downstairs.
5 minutes pass.
Footsteps on the stairs, but no little face peeking around the corner. So I go up the stairs and see her sitting there, pants around her ankles.
O - In a sing-songy voice, "My gina hurts."
Me - "Why?"
O - "Ummmm, cuz my gina hurts."
Me - "How does it hurt?" (now I'm thinking something must be seriously wrong with me because this is a really stupid question that even I couldn't answer if I were her.)
O - "Ummmm, cuz my gina hurts."
Me - "What happened?"
O - "Ummmmm, cuz my gina hurts cuz I've been farting too much."
Again, I have nothing to say. I put her back to bed and say goodnight through the tears of laughter that I cannot control.

Cindy and I went to a dinner party at our friends and nobody who was there has kids and loves ours, so everyone else held them and Cindy and i got to hold each other for a change.
Just like a man...eat and sleep.
Olivia thought Max would be a good babysitter, so she gave him a chance to watch "Lil' Baby".
Olivia and Jake watching Happy Feet. Yup, those are my thighs. Sorry, OG!

Cindy's Letter to Mom

2007-10-08T19:35:00.000-04:00

October 8, 2007

Hello Mother...Happy Birthday.

I've been thinking about you alot. You would have been 80 years old today. Correction...you should have been 80 years old today. All the kids and grand kids and great grand kids should have come to your house this weekend and celebrated you. Celebrated your life, your spirit, all the love you have given us and all the love you still had to give. We each would have given you one of the simple gifts you had on your list of "things you want" for your Birthday; new towels for the kitchen, a new bottle of Jean Nate', perhaps a new egg timer. One that's loud so you could hear it better. These were the things you'd ask for. And you would be as excited to get these gifts as you would a diamond ring. And that's what made you even more special to us. It wasn't the gift that was important, it was just having us all around so you could look at us. Once in awhile we'd surprise you and actually get you a diamond bracelet, or a new TV...after all, how many kitchen towels does one woman need.

But this year there was no gathering at the old homestead. No celebration, no gifts. Just an overwhelming sense of loss, sadness, emptiness. Your first Birthday not spent here with us. I miss you terribly Mother. People say to me that you are still there with me. That you see everything I do. I do hope that is true but it doesn't feel like enough. I miss your hugs, I miss your smiling eyes. I miss telling you about work, or the kids, or things we are doing in the house. You were always so excited for me and Elyse. You were always so encouraging and happy for us. I miss the smell of your house when you were there. I miss coming to see you and just standing in the doorway of the den and watching you read your book because you didn't hear me come in. I miss taking you to shows in NY, there are so many new things out that I know you would have loved. I just miss everything about you. I'm sad that my children won't grow up with you in their lives. Olivia talks about you still, but I'm not sure what she really remembers. In her prayers each night, she thanks Jesus for you; that makes me happy. But I wish that Olivia, Jake and Emma could have known you more. I'll try to pass on to them what I've learned from you.

I found your autobiography that you wrote when you were a senior in high school. You wrote of your ancestors, your youth, your school years, hobbies, pets, etc. The last chapter is your "Philosophy of Life" you wrote:

"Life can be as pleasant or as unpleasant as one cares to make it. Everything depends on the individual; whether one looks on the bright side and tries to make the best of things he has, or whether one is always sulky and only thinks of the unpleasant things, are usually shown in his facial expression.

Love and happiness are in my mind the two most important things in life. Due to the present conditions my future is a little uncertain but I plan to be a nurse for a while and then marry and raise a family. Money is one of the less important things in my philosophy. Of course a certain amount is needed but I feel if there is love and happiness in the family, money is only a minor detail".

I can say without question you lived your philosophy. Your cheerful outlook, happy eyes and love for family were true to course. You raised a beautiful family and we are all so grateful to have had you for a mother. My Birthday gift to you this year Mother, is to continue your legacy and live out your philosophy in my own life to the best of my ability. Times have changed a bit, but the basics remain the same. By the way, in case you don't remember...you got an "A" on that project.

Happy Birthday Mother...and many more.

Your Loving Daughter,

Cindy

Proud Mama

2007-10-02T15:18:00.000-04:00

We brought Olivia back her first souvenir from a vacation. It's a t-shirt with markers that she can color. Then it can be washed and she can color it over and over and over. She was so excited and couldn't wait to get started on it when she woke up yesterday morning.

So she sat at her little table and she colored for almost a half hour without coming up for air. This is a LONG time for Olivia to sit with one activity. As she sat there, I heard her spelling out her name - very slowly. I thought it was odd, but then realized there was a space for her name under the picture. How did she know that?

When she showed it to me, I almost cried. It is the very first time she had ever even come close to coloring inside the lines. I know a lot of kids color inside the lines a lot younger, but I am so proud of her. And she made an attempt at writing her name, which I had NO idea she knew how to spell. At first, I was baffled by the letters, then I realized that she had written it backwards and upside down. Strange...interesting. What could THAT mean? I guess we'll find out soon enough if that's something to be concerned about.

In the meantime, here's the Masterpiece...

Happy Honey-versary

2007-10-01T15:15:00.000-04:00

*****UPDATED*****
Due to the piggy nature of my blogger friends, all pix of questionable appropriateness have been removed. (-;

We went to Puerto Rico for a vacation, which also coincided with our 5th anniversary. The mood of the trip was reminiscent of our Honeymoon, so I have decided to call this our Honey-versary.

So we're back, and I'm so sad. But I am so happy to see my babes, and I can't even believe how much I missed them, so much that we decided to go away twice a year from now on (hehe). It was such a boost for our relationship to be alone together with no responsibilities. We seem to have been refreshed. The memories of this trip will definitely last me at least another week or 2. After that, I will have to start planning the next trip so we have something to look forward to after the new year rolls around.

I realized after I downloaded the pix, that we didn't take that many and there were several of us "posing" for the camera after we'd had a few. Good, clean fun.

We got kicked out on Wednesday night by Cindy's sister as soon as she got to the house. I had arranged for a hotel room near the airport and Cindy knew nothing about it, so I spent the day getting the remainder of the packing done for both of us - with 3 crazy kids in the house.

The car service was late, the driver got lost, I was so nasty to him because he kept insisting he knew where he was going, but didn't even know the name of the hotel we were going to. 1 hour later, we arrived - after 10:30. Room wasn't ready. What?!!!!! Had a drink, something to eat. Finally got a room. It was a handicapped room, so no tub, just a shower that sprayed onto the bathroom floor. Whatever. Slept. Woke. Got ready. Waited for airport shuttle. Waiting, waiting, waiting. Uhhhhhh, do I have to hurt somebody? Because I am NOT missing this plane!

I know, get to the good stuff, right? OK, OK!

We gGot to Puerto Rico and into the hotel by 1PM. Beautiful day. So excited. we had some lunch while we waited for our room, then went up and napped. Got up, went to dinner. Here comes the good stuff.

We decided on Puerto Rico's only Country Western restaurant, located on the roof of our hotel. It was hot and sticky, but so what?

Cindy had a Strawberry Margarita on steroids...

before...after...
I rode the bull...Then the guy who controls the bull came over with a cart full of fresh ingredients and made the best homemade guacamole we ever had right in front of our eyes. YUMMY!

Then we headed down to the Gold Bar (which is GORGEOUS!) in the lobby for a digestif and looked for a couch to plant ourselves on for some good ole people watching. There was an event there that night, as usual, and the cast of characters was highly amusing. Women in the most horrendously tacky outfits, the shortest skirts I've ever seen and enough makeup and hairspray to choke the bull I rode in on. What Fun! After an hour or so of that, we headed upstairs to watch the premier of ER. I know, I know! But we were beat and needed our rest before tackling our 1st full day of vacation.

I got up around 7:30, and if you read my prior blog, you know what I did. I woke Cindy at 9 and we got coffee, chatted and headed off to get massages.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!

It was a little cloudy Friday, but we headed to the pool anyway. Met a few people, including 1 couple from our town. This, combined with the pounding rain now falling on our heads as we sat at the swim up bar was more than enough to send us running into the casino. We decided on $20 each at the slots. I left with $27.50 and Cindy left with nothing. We watched 2 guys at the blackjack table for 10 minutes before we joined in. Then we lost $60 in as many seconds. Oh well. Naptime.

A couple hours later, we woke, showered and headed down to pick a restaurant for dinner. We chose Italian. What a great meal. The 2 couples flanking us were also celebrating anniversaries and we made quick friends of the couple on the right. After dinner, it was over to the Gold bar for drinks and to find a couch in the lobby for peoplewatching. I guess it's our favorite after dinner activity. We threw back a couple and headed upstairs. But tonight, it was well after 11 o'clock (11:15).

Saturday. We woke to the most beautiful sunrise. It was 8:30 and already burning hot outside. So we put on our suits, got coffee and headed out to the Encanto Pool for sun and Rumrunners with 151, it's a really strong rum. If you've never had one, you are missing out. As we sat at the swim up bar for lunch, a group of young guys across the bar bought us a round. Are you kidding me? They couldn't be any older than in their early 30's. Nonetheless, we accepted and drank up. I gave an obligatory nod of thanks and introduced myself a few minutes later when I had to return to my chair for something. Then we proceeded to ignore them the rest of the day because we just couldn't handle talking to them for more than 30 seconds and really just wanted to be left alone. A group of other young ladies (I use the term loosely) found them soon after and they were happy to buy them drinks for the rest of the day. Can you say "Beer Goggles?" PHEEEW! We're off the hook.

I'd write more, but this is really all we did until 4 when we went inside and napped before dinner.

This (Sept 29th) was our actual 5th anniversary and Cindy made a reservation at The Pa.lm, which is also in the hotel. Are you getting the drift? We never left the hotel. We went down at 7 and had a drink at the bar. The maitre d' came to seat us and we were escorted to a quiet booth where a bottle of champagne and a dozen red roses were waiting for me. We sat, looked in each other's eyes and when the server neglected to give us menus, I knew what was next. My wife had pre-ordered our meal. Of course she did.

Lobster bisque

Shrimp cocktail

A 5 lb lobster, split and cracked for us by the staff

A filet mignon cooked to perfection

Pardon me while I wipe the drool from my keyboard.

Every single server in the restaurant walked by our table a least 1 time to check us out, and most of them stopped, briefly, to wish us a happy anniversary. It was all very sweet.

My beautiful bouquet...

After dinner...you guessed it! Off to the Gold Bar for an after dinner drink and people watching.

We sat and talked and looked into each other's eyes and up other women's dresses (hehe). We chatted with our new friends, drank some more, then off to bed.

Sunday...

Got up, packed, coffee, pool, rumrunners. Back to the room to change and off to the airport. SIGH!

Here's our favorite bar - it has stools in the water and a waterfall nearby to refresh yourself.

Greetings From Puerto Rico

2007-09-28T08:36:00.001-04:00

Hey everyone. We are now fully relaxed after a little bit of a hellish beginning to our vacation on Wednesday night and Thursday morning. We've taken a few pix and I'll definitely post them when I get home. I would get in so much trouble if I started full-out blogging while I'm here (hehe).
Why, then, you ask, am I blogging now? Good question. It's by default. I needed to charge my i.Pod and the only place to do it is in the business center, so here I am while my beauty sleeps late.
All I really wanted to say here is that while I was waiting for a full charge, I went to my blog to see some pix of my babies, who I miss so bad. I was crying last night, but I could not call to hear little OG's voice because she would have gotten so upset. Then I checked out a couple blogs and started feeling "family sick". I proceeded to go back to my blog and play the video of Family Week over and over and over and I am now a sobbing mess. The other crazies down here are wondering what the hell that music is and why there's a woman sniffling like a baby. Don't care. I keep playing it in the background as I write this.

OK, I think I need to go get a cup of coffee for my girl and wake her up. We have a massage at 10. YUMMMMMMMMM! It's been too long.

Miss you all, my friends!

Love,
ME in Puerto Rico!

Weekend In Pittsburgh

2007-09-24T10:47:00.000-04:00

We spent the weekend in Pittsburgh visiting my brother, Tony, and his partner, Hien. Lucky for us, OG, Emma and Jake's newfound half-sib, Callie and her awesome moms live there, too. Friday night was fun. My brother is a professor at the University and the Faculty Advisor for the gay and lesbian group, so he had a few of the students over for a delectable Asian dinner and wonderfully fattening desserts. Nice kids - SOOOOOOO young. It made me feel pretty old to hear some of the things they talk about.
Saturday was a blast. We met up with Darcy, Mare and Callie at the Pittsburgh Zoo and my brother came along (so happy he did). However, Hien stayed home and sealed their HUGE driveway. What a daunting task that was.
We spent 4 hours trolling along looking at all the animals and the girls had a great time. So did the kids (hehe).
Tony and Hien were sweet enough to ask Darcy and Mare for dinner that evening. After we all went home and napped, they came over and ate and drank and talked and the girls played and it warmed my heart and made me wish (all over again) that we all lived closer and could do this on a whim if we wanted.
I have to give it up for Tony and Hien. They sat so patiently and graciously listened to all our talk of children and what they do and how they do it and how funny and smart our kids are and all kinds of woman stuff that nobody really wants to hear. BIG UPS! MWAAAAAAAAAA! (Tony - that s a big kiss for you and Hien).

The weekend was wonderful and my only regret is that I didn't get to go shopping at TJ Ma.xx with my IDOL, Hien. He is the clearance king and even I am in awe at some of the great deals he gets. (I am now on my knees bowing, paying homage to the master).

I leave you with pix of our fun...

The rhinos were huge, and uninterested in talking to us.

The family...poor Jake, and my brother, didn't have a prayer with all the estrogen surging that day.
My favorite fish in the whole aquarium...gimme a big kiss!
This scale lets you know what animal weighs as much as you do. And you are a...? Poor baby just paced back and forth, back and forth.
It was really hot, so the girls cooled off in a sprinkler.
The elephants were great. They were getting baths when we saw them and they frolicked in the water. We were sweating and quite envious. Nothing to say here - just cute!

Callie the rock climber.
Me and Callie, Mare and OG.

M&M's and Back.yardigans videos made for sweet ride home.

Olivia had to pee, no rest stop in sight, so she assumed the camping pee pee pose. No go, so she held it til we got home.

And a few of the babies - just cuz they're cute and they never get to have any fun!

Above - our little ladykiller and below, the maneater. They are also both Mare magnets. She couldn't put them down.

Empty House, Full Heart

2007-09-18T13:37:00.000-04:00

They're gone. The last of our guests, our new family, left this morning and I am beside myself with sadness.

These women, these children, have imprinted on my life in a way I had not expected. And as each family departed, they ripped a piece of my heart from my chest and took it with them.
I knew we'd have fun. I think that was a given. How can you put 8 women and 9 children in 1 house and not have fun? But something else happened here in the last week. We made connections - with each other and with the children; connections that will last a lifetime. I'm sure of it.

I am in awe of these women. In the face of chaos and meltdowns and exhaustion, they found strength and sanity. They managed to hold it together for so many days, through so many things that would test the patience of a saint. And they did it with smiles that lit the night sky.

I saw in these women's relationships with each other what we all hope for in our own...respect and sincerity, friendship and warmth, love and compassion. And in their interactions with their children I saw amazing things...tender, caring moms who kiss scraped knees and who soothed hurt feelings. Moms who disciplined tenderly in defense of another child, with warmth and understanding, knowing just how difficult it is to be 3 or 4 years old. I saw women who, without hesitation, grabbed another's child and wiped away tears and changed dirty diapers and rocked babies to sleep. I saw women who are the examples of what we ought to strive to be in our finest hours. I saw women who I felt proud and blessed to call my friends, my family. They are my kindred spirits.

It's difficult to describe the feelings these days together have born. I am so in love with these women, as if they were my sisters, and with these children, as if they were my own.

I leave you with with some of my favorite pix, though there are so many.

And here's a montage of the entire week. My heart smiles and breaks every time I look at it.

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Family Fun

2007-09-15T09:10:00.000-04:00

I can't believe how amazing this week has been or how quickly the time is passing. The kids are enjoying each other so much and the girls are getting close. Last night I heard Hollie and Toni's daughter, Mikaela, refer to Olivia as "sister". My heart was full. Olivia has taken to Spence, Cam and Kyron with such love and Syd has taken over as assistant mommy to Emma and Jake. Amazing is not strong enough a word, but I don't have another way to describe it.

The sisterhood I have found with these women is incredible. Their warmth and sincerity (and sarcasm) is something for which I will be forever grateful. They are funny and sweet and loving. K is right on the money with the idea of us starting our own polygamist colony. Our "man", the donor is our our tie, but our bond is our friendship. It is so comfortable here with all of them. Each of us immediately took on the role of mother to all the children. There is never a hesitation about picking up a crying baby running to comfort a child who falls or gets hurt or stepping in when a tiff is about to begin. I never imagined feeling he comradery we have found with each other.
Gotta go now - getting ready or another amazing day. I'll leave you with some pix from last night.

Cindy watching Nemo with the girls...

A pose for Callie's homemeade birthday picture frame...

The Tickle Monster attacks...

They're Here! They're Here!

2007-09-12T08:48:00.001-04:00

KJ and the Kids have finally arrived.
I won! I won! I'm the 1st to blog and Karen is gonna be sooooooo mad. She was trying to sneak in some blogging last night when they were here and we all gave her shit about it, so she didn't. She did, however, manage to check in on some of your blogs that she just HAD to read. She is an addict for sure.

Back to the kids. OMG! Syd and Olivia were awesome together! They were like little wind up dolls and when one would start to slow down, the other would wind her right back up and off they'd go. SO MUCH FUN! They were crazies!

As for Cam and Spence, how precious are they! So sweet. I forgot how wonderful that age is - they explore everything and are so curious. I can't wait til Jake and Emma start walking.

My camera is not here - long story, but I will have it back today and that freak Karen didn't bring hers. WHAT! I know, I couldn't believe it either. We'll take some pix and post today.

Here are he highlights fro last night.

They got here late afternoon and we decided on pizza.
I called 4 different pizza places looking for someone who even heard of, forget about makes, Hawaiian pizza. Found one, ordered it and 2 other normal pies.
Sat in den, tried to eat and play and feed babies and keep toddlers from breaking bones and heads on tile floor. Almost worked. Poor Cam "fell" off the little trampoline and banged his head on the tile. The little champ is no worse for wear.
Time for dress up. OG and Syd pulled out the princess dresses and shoes and ruled the kingdom all night, of course.
Someone, who shall remain nameless, knocked over a glass and red wine went flying all over the wall and rug. Karen freaked! I guess my posts abut cleanliness and my "carpet issues" made her a little nervous. I pulled out the Oxy Power cleaner and it came right off the walls and out of the rug. Karen is now a believer in oxy power.
Kids ran around and played.
And ran around and played.
And played and ran around.
Gymnastics for Syd and Olivia and flipping on Karen's and my legs.
Cindy freaking out.
Cindy went to bed at 9.
Kids ran and played and played and ran around.
Karen felt guilty about leaving a mess and started cleaning up.
KJ and the kids left at 10.
Coming back today - can't wait!

As we sit here, Olivia is bugging me about when they are going to get here.

If I Only Had A Brain

2007-09-10T16:39:00.000-04:00

But I don't, so here are the things I have done in the last 24 hours.

1) I wanted to highlight my own hair to save myself the $200 it would cost me to have it done by a professional. I bought the kit, cracked it open and proceeded to mix the powder bleach with the creme. Then I applied it. After the 1 1/2 hours it took to painstakingly apply it, I realized that I had mixed the bleach with the after care conditioner rather than the developer.

Cried. Showered. Kicked myself in the ass for the rest of the night.

2) Craving egg salad. 5 eggs left. Put 3 in a pot with water, flame on high, wait for it to boil. Go downstairs, play with babies, answer emails. An hour goes by.

POP!!!!!!!!!! What the.....?

Uh oh, forgot the eggs were on the stove. Go to kitchen. Pot burning. One egg exploded all over floor. Two smoking rubber eggs still in pot. FUCK!

3) Fine, I'll have fried eggs and bacon for breakfast (Yes, I am still trying to lose weight. Plateaued on Slimfast, moved on to Atkins. Story for another day.) Cracked my last 2 eggs into hot pan, dropped already cooked bacon in to warm it up, removed eggs, left bacon in to get crisp. Went downstairs, checked emails, vacuumed.

Smell smoke. Uh oh. Forgot the bacon. Run upstairs.

As I reach the top step and run into kitchen, the smoke alarm goes off.

Kitchen filled with smoke. Dining room filled with smoke. House filled with smoke.

Take pan, throw it outside. I think I hit a squirrel in the head. Oops.

I obviously cannot be trusted with a stove. Cheerios for dinner tonight.

My brain after twins...

5 1/2 Month Stats

2007-09-07T13:51:00.000-04:00

The babies are 5 months and 23 days old today and went for their 4 month checkup and shots (yes, we are way behind because they were so sick in the beginning).

Our trip was chaotic, to say the least. Olivia is not in school on Fridays anymore, so she came with us. My first inclination was to leave her home with Cindy because she works from home on Fridays, but that was not going to work. I chose not to have her in school on Fridays and she was not going to sit and play quietly while Cindy worked, so the answer was simple. Take her. It's my job anyway, so I just sucked it up and got everyone ready to pack up in the minivan.

While I was changing Emma, Olivia ran out of the room to get her doll, "Little Baby" so she could change her diaper and she ran full speed into the doorway of the bathroom. OMG! You should have seen the size of the egg on her forehead. Poor Baby!
As we're walking out the door with no time to spare, Olivia has to pee, of course. "OK, go, quickly, please." She yells from the bathroom, "I wet myself". NOOOOOOOOOOO! Not now. But, yes, she did. I washed her up and sent her to her room to get new panties while I rinsed her shorts and dried them with a hairdryer. I didn't have it in me to have her change her entire outfit, so I improvised.

Off to the doctor. Well, almost. When I was getting into the van, I saw that our tire was all but flat. I know we have a slow leak and have filled this tire 4 times in the last week, and yet, still have not made it over to the dealer for them to fix it. Can you say "LOOOOO-ZER!" So we went 2 miles in the opposite direction to fill it, then turned around and went to the doctor. We were only 3 minutes late. I have no idea how that happened.

Olivia was full of energy today and did her best to follow he rules we talked about 17 times before we got there. She tried so hard to sit and be still, but she couldn't control herself. She sang Old MacDonald 30 times and made funny noises with her mouth that she just learned. Annoying! But everyone commented on how well behaved she was, so either they were lying or I am just intolerant of 3-year old tomfoolery today.
Emma and Jake screamed a lot -especially after their 3 shots each in the legs. Poor babies!
In the end, we got out of there alive and here are the babies' stats.

Emma

weight - 13 lbs, 5 oz - 10th percentile
length - 25 3/4" - 50th percentile
head - 16 5/8 - 50th percentile
weight for length - less than 3rd percentile

Jake
weight - 14 lbs, 14 oz - 10th percentile
length - 26 1/2" - 50th percentile
head - 16 1/2 - 10th percentile
weight for length - less than 3rd percentile

The doctor was concerned that Jake had only gained 1 lb 4 oz. and dropped in percentile, so we have to try to beef him up a little. We'll be starting on orange veggies tonight and we'll see how hat goes. I'm sure I will it will be a sight and if I can find the charger for my camera, I will take some pix. I am very disorganized and unfocused this week and can't find anything.

On a little more serious not, he was also concerned about Emma's head. It was on the big side at the last checkup and has jumped up to the next level (50th percentile) relative to her size at this checkup. We are due back in a month for flu shots, so she will be remeasured, and if the circumference jumps again, we will have to go for an ultrasound to rule out hydrocephalus.

Developmentally, the are only at 4 1/2 months, so they have some catching up to do, but he felt that was OK since they were delivered 4 weeks early.

That's all for now. Maybe I can get a picture of Olivia's head today and I'll update with a picture. What a whopper!

Almost Famous

2007-09-04T15:42:00.000-04:00

We're feeling pretty high on ourselves this weekend. My brother wrote a book, which is coming out in a few weeks, and asked us if we'd like to be on the cover.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!!!!!

The book is called "Everyday Law For Gays and Lesbians" and we even wrote an excerpt for one of the chapters.

We were going to have a family photo taken soon anyway, so we agreed and I was going to get a photographer and get some good shots. We found out on Friday night that the cover designer needed it by today, so we had to pull together some coordinating outfits and whip out the camera yesterday to take some family photos. Here are some photos from the shoot, including the cover shot. Big hugs and kisses to Gale for taking the pictures and for putting up with my meltdown when Olivia got marker on her blouse. Oh, and the Xanax - couldn't have done it without you! Mwwwwaaaaaa!

And here are a few more shots from the weekend.

Olivia has started reading books while she sits and waits for nature to take its course.

All my babies looked sooooooooo cute after their baths that we just couldn't resist.

Cindy and I realized we don't have many pictures of just us, so we took some.

We went to a birthday party for Cindy's twin nephews - they just turned 15 and are amazing young men. Can you say tall?

Here's us again with Cindy's niece, Kelly and a picture of her beautiful daughter, Ava.

It's a Lie!

2007-08-28T12:34:00.001-04:00

Pennies do NOT make slugs spark and die. In a conversation with my brother, during which he inferred, sweetly, that I'm a wacko (he read the slug blog), he informed me that pennies are no longer made of copper, and, therefore, would not make the slimy bastards spark.

Now somewhere in the back of my mind I knew this; behind more important knowledge like how to clean spit up from the sofa, how to change a diaper while the baby is still in the carseat, how to prop the bottle just so with a blanket while the baby is eating because you have to pee so bad because your bladder and other "stuff" is so shot from having 3 babies that you can't hold it for more than 2 hours at a time and you wet your underwear when you laugh or sneeze or cough, how to wash dishes with one hand while stirring the mac and cheese so it won't burn and stick to the bottom of the pot and you have to order pizza for dinner again, but it will take too long so you decide on cheese sandwiches but there's no bread left so you say, "Fine, have cereal".

Anyyway, we caught another slug last night. So I pulled out the video camera and filmed the sequel to "Drunken Slugs". We put it in a container with pennies and it didn't spark, so we poured salt on it and the sucker dried up like... (I had something so funny to write, but it was completely rude and inappropriate, though it may resonate with some of you, so I didn't write it.) Don't ask me - I won't do it!

A BIG FAT THANKS!

2007-08-27T12:14:00.000-04:00

Dear Blogger Friends (and Tammy and Darcy),

Thanks, everyone for your support and suggestions for my "mood issue" the other day. I am grateful that everyone was so willing to help and to share that they have been there as well and I am heartened to know people care. That day could have ended up taking a very bad turn and it didn't because of all of you. I would list all your names and add the links, but I am still a little Blogger illiterate and can't figure out how to add the hyperlinks.

I am definitely feeling better, but nervous that the feelings will keep coming back. I think a trip to the Dr. is in order, so I guess I need to make a call.

I would additionally like thank the love of my life. Without her love and unconditional support, I would be a real crackpot. No comments from the peanut gallery please!

Love,
E-

Poop, Puke and Slugs

2007-08-27T08:40:00.001-04:00

I woke at 4 am to the thundering footsteps of my dog tiptoeing down the stairs. What the...?
"Cindy - did you take him out before we went to bed?"
unidentifiable grunt
So my girl got up and went down to take him out. I followed a couple minutes later because I didn't hear any doors open.
The smell of diarrhea poop knocked me off my feet. The entry rug on the tile floor near the back door was missing. hmmmmmmmmm...
I proceeded through the living room toward the laundry room, where I saw a light on. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! What the fuck! What did I just step in? Puke.
Enter the laundry room and see Cindy standing just standing there- looking quite defeated. Loose poop everywhere.
No screaming, no yelling. She just grabbed the papertowels and the mop and got right to work. Bless her heart!
I took Max out and he expelled more liquid from his behind and we came back in.
If all this doesn't sound bad enough, it gets MUCH worse!
As I walked out the door to walk Max, I saw it. A SLUG! It was at least a foot long and 3 inches in diameter. OK, maybe, just maybe , it was a little smaller than that. It was speeding for the poop laden rug Cindy threw out into the yard. (Yup, you guessed it, that's my big job today. Power washer here I come!) It had it's antennae up and it was cruising. UUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH! Gross! The fear and anxiety are now welling up. Gotta get rid of it. Can't let it get on that rug and sit there for the next few hours until I clean it. If one came so fast, there will surely be others. A slug party! No F*in way - not on my rug, not on my watch. So I picked up a couple sticks and managed to pick up the slug and fling it into the street. I figured that would buy me a couple hours. I walk back up to the house and there are 3 more on their way to the rug. Oh My God - what now? I know, beer. K told me beer. But do I have any slugworthy beer? Do I have any residual Coors Light from last year's party when my beer-drinkin', former friends came? Lemme check.
I move to the doorway to the laundry room where Cindy is on her 2nd round of mopping. "Cin, throw me a beer - a Coors Light."
Puzzled look.
"Uhhhh, what?"
"Slugs, I need beer for the slugs".
"OH, I thought you were gonna start drinking right now."
I'm thinking, this is not a bad idea, but no, I'll wait til noon.
"No, I'm gonna put the beer out and the fuckers will crawl in and explode." OK, I knew they wouldn't explode, but it made me feel better that they would die a horrible death rather than just getting drunk and dying of alcohol poisoning.
Got an old Chinese food tupperware - I knew there was a reason I kept these things -cracked open the can and poured it in.
I went upstairs to feed my now screaming babies and hoped for the best.
5 am - feeding done, Cindy coming upstairs to get her last 20 minutes of sleep before her alarm goes off and she has to get up for work. I make a left out of the babies room and something stopped me. I turned around and went downstairs to see how my beer bowl of torture was working.
3 slugs were slowly making their way toward the bowl. Too slow. What if they didn't go in? What if they were just playing with me and were really headed for the rug again. or worse yet, my house???!!!!! Nuh-uh. No way, not this time.
I picked up 2 more sticks and headed for the biggest fucker of the 3.
I reached for him. He rolled up, he struggled, made his slimy body into a hard ball. The game was on. I looked for 2 bigger sticks, hoping not to step on a slug while I was making my way to the driveway to get them. Success - 2 huge sticks. Now he was mine.
Back to the big fucker. Squished him between the sticks and dropped him into the beer.
Stood there. Watched. And watched. Patience, Elyse, something will happen. He moved around a little, like he was drinking it, like he enjoyed it. Not unlike I might do if I were dropped into a vat of Cosmos. I digress. Still nothing. So I picked up the 2nd biggest, dropped him in. Then the 3rd - kerplunk!
And it was done. I felt cleansed.
I went inside and back to bed after several thorough hand and feet washings.
As I lay in bed trying to fall back to sleep, feeling victorious, it hit me. I am terrified of these disgusting creatures and they cripple me with anxiety. I haven't won - not yet. I started getting nuts, worried that I am on a downward spiral into some kind of mental illness. One that will cause me to see slugs everywhere and in my dreams. And I will feel them on my skin and there will be some large sluglike creature following me everywhere I go, waiting for just the right moment to slime me, rendering me motionless, then sliding over me and absorbing my body into his.
Go into bathroom, take ativan, return to bed. Wait, wait, wait. Breathe, breathe, breathe.
Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh. Sleep.

I woke this morning and checked on my drunk little captives. There were four! I captured one - for real. I captured him! And he appears to be an adolescent, not huge like the others. This is a victory. I stopped him before he reached maturity, before he can do irreparable damage - to my psyche and my hostas.
That's right, our big beautiful, lush hostas are the reason we have slugs. I looked a few things up this morning and will leave you with these, my favorite fun facts.

I won't dare post a picture of my conquest.
Or maybe I'll put it to my blogger friends - should I post the picture? What's your vote?

All slugs are hermaphrodites.

Hostas and lettuce are two of their favorite foods. But they will happily chow down on just about any plant in your garden. But don’t worry—there are many non-toxic ways to subdue these slimy sons of snot!

1) Beer. Yes, it really does work. It’s also the best non-personal way to confirm that overnight damage is due to the slimy beasts. Just don’t use the often-cited “stale beer”, which slugs like about as much as you and I do. Place commercial traps or old margarine tubs on top of the soil close to the damaged plants, wait until dusk and then fill them with the cheapest—but freshest—beer you can find. The next morning, they should be filled with dead drunken slugs. Dump this defeated debris nearby (where it will attract their cannibalistic pals) and repeat every evening.

2) Copper. Slugs get shocked when they touch this shiny metal. Drop captured slugs into a jar of pennies and watch ‘em spark!
this is by far my favorite method mentioned, though way too personal.

3) Boards. Lay some old planks between your garden beds. The vampiric slugs will crawl underneath to hide from the sun. Come morning, lift the boards and scrape the slugs into a bucket with a flat piece of metal. Then do with them what you will. Hey—got any pennies?)

4) Human hair. Surround your plants with a protective barrier of hair. The slugs will get all tangled up in it and strangle (hey—it was them or the hostas!); and the hair will eventually add plant-feeding nitrogen to the soil.

**UPDATE**

K - you asked for it...

What Have I Done?

2007-08-23T09:24:00.000-04:00

This morning I woke with more anxiety than usual. Emma didn't sleep last night at all. She was up several times and crying constantly. She wouldn't eat when Jake did at 4:30, so she woke again at 6. I fed her, we fell asleep for 10 minutes, then it was a total loss from there. Everyone was up, except Jake. It's now 9 am and he just got up.
All I want to do is cry.
I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing. Emma was in her jumper, fairly happy, then just started screaming on and off for at least 10 minutes while I just sat here on the couch, trying to figure out what was wrong with her. She's been screaming a lot lately - her version of talking, but this seemed a little different. Was it? I couldn't tell. But why not? I'm her mother and I should certainly know these things after 5 months. Still screaming, but laughing in between. OK, out of the jumper - how about the play mat? She likes to kick the thing that plays music and lights up. Picked her up. Wow, her diaper is soaking wet. When was the last time I changed her? Can't even remember. It's basic, they are hungry, tired, gassy or wet. Simple. But not for me. Not today.
I ran out of cereal and formula Tuesday night, I'm running really low on diapers and was supposed to go get more yesterday. I didn't do it. I just sat in the house all day. Did nothing. Thank goodness I had enough formula to get me through this morning and just enough diapers, too. The last time I went out to get them, I bought the wrong size. They are way too small for Jake, and they barely fit Emma. They can't be comfortable, but I still didn't go get more yesterday. And I could have. Olivia was in school, so it would have been easy to just throw the babies in their car seats and take the ride to the store. Didn't do it. Don't want to do it now.
Now the tears are rolling. These are basic needs my babies have and I am no meeting them.
There's also this feeling I've have a lot lately - like everyone is mad at me. I must ask Cindy 3 or 4 times a day whether she is mad at me for something, but I can never figure out what I could have done. She always says no, but that nagging feeling won't let go.
Then there are the friends. The ones who live so close. They don't call or come over to play. I'm the one with 3 kids and it's always me calling to get together. What did I do? Are they mad? Or worse, do they just not like me anymore? Did I say something? Was I insensitive? Selfish? Mean? I'm sure I can be all these things, but I can't remember if I was.
And then there's another friend. I'll just call her K. She has 2 kids, almost 3 years and almost 1. We used to get together once a week. There was some craziness with my pregnancy and other family stuff, so we stopped for a while. But we always talked. She used to talk to me, tell me stuff. No more. I feel a barrier. I feel like she's mad at me. What did I do? I can't figure it out.
It gets worse. I feel like people I don't even know are mad at me - or just plain don't like me. For example, Bloggers I know only from this site. Never met 'em, never spoke to 'em. They commented a couple times. I commented a couple times. Now nothing. Something I said?
The paranoia is horrible.
Here's the kicker - the thing that sealed it. I'm crying like a baby. Usually my dog comes over and puts his snout right in my face and stares at me with those big eyes, as if to say, "It's OK, Mommy. I love you." Not this time, he went into the other room - and there he sits. I don't think it could get worse than that.
What have I done?

The Best Sister In The Whole Wide World!

2007-08-22T15:55:00.000-04:00

I never had a sister. Never, that is, until I met Karen. She was Cindy's sister first, but now she is mine, too.

To say she is kind, considerate, thoughtful and funny wouldn't even begin to cover it. She is warm and compassionate. She is nonjudgmental and strong. She would give the shirt off her back - and has. Best of all, she cracks me up.

In the last year, Cindy and I have been through hell. Cindy has been hospitalized 3 times, had 2 operations and a lot of pain and recovery. I went through fertility treatments, and they wreaked havoc on my body. Before I even got pregnant with the twins, I was on bedrest. The pregnancy was difficult, I spent a lot of time feeling sick and weak and off my feet. A lot of people stepped up in a way we had not expected and we are very grateful for all that everybody did.

But Karen did what sisters do - without being asked, without complaints and with a huge smile on her face, while asking what more she could do. She took Olivia to stay with her when Cindy was in the hospital - all 3 times. If it stopped there, I would owe her big time, but it didn't. When I was pregnant, she offered to take her again and again. Cindy was exhausted from working 60 hours a week and taking care of me at night and on the weekends. Karen knew it and gave us a break more times than I can count. She was a Godsend. It was a place Olivia could go and have fun from morning til night and still stay on her schedule (sort of). I mean, Aunt Karen is a blast and any kid who WANTS to take a nap or go to bed on time when she is at Aunt Karen's house would be a fool. But Karen made sure she napped and went to bed and got enough sleep so she wouldn't come home all screwed up. She made sure she had great snacks and ate fruits and vegetables and, of course, lots of mac and cheese. Boy do we love mac and cheese!

Then the babies came and all seemed to be back to normal, as much as it could be with a 3 year old and newborn twins. Everything was going along, life was good, but we were tired and in desperate need of "something", though we didn't know what.

Then it came. The letter. Notification actually; that we had won some sort of prize. As I read it, my pressure started rising and welling up inside me was a huge WAHOOOOOOOOOOO! I yelled out to Cindy and jumped around and screamed like a crazy woman. You will know exactly why when you read it. You will have to click on it to see the full blown image so it's large enough to read. #2 is not visible because it is "EYES ONLY" - sorry.

So there it was, a gift from the Heavens. We checked out a lot of places and hotels and flights. As it turns out, 2 nights became 4 and we are going to Puerto Rico for our 5th anniversary in September. Karen happily agreed to the extra time and, as an added bonus, she insists she will have the twins sleeping all the way through the night by the time we return. Is there a better gift than that? I mean, if that were the only reason she were coming, I'd go sleep in the streets while she accomplishes that task.
But as it turns out, we will not be sleeping in the streets. If we had to pay for this trip, we might be, but with a little resourcefulness, we are going to have a great time and not worry one iota about money. We cashed in ALL our credit card points for the flight and got the cheapest room in a very expensive hotel/casino/spa. The room is GORGEOUS. As a summer special, we will get a $100 credit to use anywhere in the hotel, AND the spa in the hotel takes Spa.Finder gift certificates. Why is this important, you ask? Because my brother and his partner gave us 4 gift certificates for Christmas last year, which we have not used. Hot stone massage on the beach...here I come!

I would have posted a picture of my beautiful Karen, but she has yet to approve one for publication. When she does, I will put it up.

Thank you, sister - for everything!

Hugs and Kisses,

Elyse

PS - Isn't fun the best thing to have?

My How They've Grown

2007-08-22T14:46:00.000-04:00

I haven't been feeling well lately - a lot of pain in my mouth from all the dental work and from the grinding and clenching - due to stress and anxiety, they say. BAAAA! What stress? I got a mouthguard and wear it whenever possible, and though I'm adjusting, it makes my mouth hurt.

I've taken a lot of pictures lately because I don't feel like going out, so I stay in and don't feel like cleaning, so...

We went to a party for a friend's daughter and I caught the cutest picture of her oldest daughter holding Olivia in the pool. This is the girl who made the beautiful "Happy Birthday" driveway mural for Olivia at her birthday party.

At the party, they had this trampoline. OG loved it and Cindy just had to have it, so now we do. It's great for burning off that last bit of energy right before we sit down to dinner.

Olivia turned 3 the end of July and the twins turned 5 months on Sunday. As I look at all 3 of them, I can't believe how much they have grown and changed in such a short period of time.

Jake is such a happy little guy - always smiling, laughing, trying so hard to talk. He has a dimple in his left cheek to die for and the other day I discovered he has a matching one on his left butt cheek, too. I bit it so hard when I found it! I just couldn't help myself.

I asked Jake what his greatest wish was. His reply - "Peace!" Emma just gave me a blank stare and never did answer me. I'm pretty sure she's practicing for her teen years.

Olivia requested a photo shoot with her sister and her brother. Of course, I obliged.

Emma can stare you down for hours. It's a little harder to get her to smile and laugh, but when she does, it lights up the room. She also has other faces.

Can you say POUT?

Ain't Misbehavin'

2007-08-08T16:38:00.000-04:00

I read over this before I posted it and it is a little chaotic and hard to follow the timeline, but please bear with me. I had so much to say (so unlike me! LOL)

I think K, from Role Playing With Kids, started something. So I will hop on the bandwagon.

I will preface by saying, this is MY story, and not a commentary on anyone else's situation. My daughter, my parenting style, my feelings, her personality and mine, our relationship and our situation are unique and don't translate at all to anyone else's lives and in no way does this blog cast judgment on anyone. Having made my disclaimer, here it goes.

I don't have a child who hits or pushes or takes toys away from other children. She is usually the one who is on the losing end of those behaviors. She is, many times, slow to warm in a crowd or around people whom she does not know. She is a generally sweet and loving child. However, her mouth and her looks of death are her weapons. She can cut you with her tone and that tongue faster and smoother than a sword cuts through softened butter and those eyes could burn up the devil in one quick glance. People say she gets it from me. My mom would have agreed and surely chuckles from Heaven every time it happens .

Whenever she was fresh or disrespectful to me, it made me insane. I could feel my face getting red, my muscles tightening and it would take every ounce of willpower I had not to do something I would regret. For whatever reason, I was horrified everytime she would mouth off to me, especially if it were in front of other people. The dirty looks from other people and the shame factor added to my anger. It was something I had to put a stop to, but how? And I'll add this little tidbit. I DO NOT need other people, even my closest friends and relatives, to add their 2 cents when it happens. They will often say something to Olivia that is completely useless (i.e. - "that's not nice", "Olivia, you need to apologize to Mommy", etc.) and it makes the situation worse because she then feels shamed and upset on top of everything else. I am her mother and I will deal with it, thank you.

Back to the story.
I thought and thought and observed and thought some more. I analyzed her and me and Cin and our world and everything around us and I thought and thought and thought some more. I came up with this.
When Olivia chooses a behavior that I, and others, deem inappropriate, my 1st reaction is shame, then embarrassment, then anger that I am embarrassed, then lots of emotions follow. At some point, I get lost because I'm no longer reacting to the behavior itself, but to my feelings about it. After I get angry with her, I get angry with me.

I learned a lot about my daughter and myself in the last few months because I have spent more time, more REAL time, with her than I have since she was born. I have talked to her and asked her questions about everything she says and feels and does. She is far from being able to answer some of those questions in any meaningful way. Ahhhhh, my light goes on.

She's still just a baby. She is just beginning to have meaningful language. She is just starting to have all these emotions and barely understands them herself.
I learned that her behavior is not a reflection of what I have taught her, but rather a reflection of what I have neglected to teach her. She can only chose from her repertoire of words and behavior. She cannot use words she does not know. She cannot make a choice she does not know is available. Furthermore, even if somewhere deep down, she knows it's available, she needs practice choosing it. Children are not born brilliant decision makers. They need practice and reinforcement and encouragement. And they will make a lot of mistakes for a lot of years. They are supposed to.

A digression...It was misleading for me to write earlier on that Olivia does not hit. She used to. She learned it from somewhere, or maybe it's just a survival thing that she was born with. I remember the feelings of absolute shame when we would be in a play group and Olivia would just walk up to another kid - always a smaller one and always a girl - and just smack or hit her. No rhyme, no reason. "Mortified" doesn't even cover what I felt. I just didn't understand why she did it. I poured over every instance for hours and days after it would happen. I was at a loss. Finally, I decided I could never know why she does everything she does. So I changed direction. Instead of understanding it, I decided I would just put halt to it.
We worked SOOOOOOO hard on getting her not to hit. She was too young for timeouts and other discipline, so every time it happened, I talked to her about what she could do instead of hitting. "No, Olivia. That's hitting. You CANNOT hit (rather than "we don't hit"). You can rub her arm or touch her hand or tap her shoulder", etc., etc., bla, bla, bla. I thought about whether I should explain that it hurts their feelings when she hits, but I was pretty sure she wouldn't give a shit. Too young for empathy. It was so draining. It went on for about 2 months, then it stopped - all of a sudden and for good. I think her light went on. She got it. It took time and practice and consistency. Every time - the same exact thing. Draining!

Then about 6 months ago, other behaviors started that I didn't like - the talking back, the ignoring me when I asked her to do something, the running away laughing when I asked her to come to me, the forceful "NO!", no matter what I asked or said, and the whining. OH THE WHINING! She had a lot of changes going on in her life and I'm sure she felt like she had no control and was taking it the only way she knew how. What to do? I poured over books and the Internet and asked friends. Nothin'! Well, not true. One friend told me about 1-2-3 and it works like a charm. Not at first, but after she realized there was a consequence EVERY time I got to 3, her light went on again. And I stopped being angry. No loud voice, no angry tone. Just 1.......2......3. Thanks, K - you saved my, I mean her, life. But this doesn't work for everything. I still had that sharp tongue to contend with. Oh yeah, and the bloodcurdling, hair curling, bonechilling tantrums. I had to rid our lives of those as well.

So I decided to embark on the journey of knowledge in decision making - helping Olivia to choose words and actions that are appropriate and, more importantly, that feel good for her.
She would so often say to me, after being told no or being corrected, "Mama, don't be mean to me" or "Mama, don't be mad at me." After this happened a few times, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I need to explain things to her - nicely. She's old enough now. She needs - and deserves - to know why and why not. I could no longer go on the premise of "Because I said so." She is a little person with thoughts and feelings and emotions and a brain. That's right - a brain.

So the next time she was "fresh" to me, I asked her to come over to me and talk to me. I told her how it made me feel when she talked to me like that. I told her that there were other ways to tell me she didn't want to do something without being disrespectful. Little did she know she would have to to what I asked anyway (hehe). But we would work it out. So each time this happened, we would have a talk and discuss other ways to get her feelings out without shouting "NO!" at me. And on my end, I felt it was important to be careful with my tone, and to say please and thankyou, just like she was supposed to. She is, afterall, a very sensitive child. And on her end, she would have to learn that she needed to do things that I asked her to do, even if she didn't want to do them. And if she wanted to be mad about it, she could be. And she could and should express it. We went over different ways for her to be angry or upset. We play acted. It was fun. And in the end, she usually did what she was supposed to do with a smile on her face. But there were some tantrums. So what? They end and we hug and kiss and all is good again.

It's been about 2 months since we began our "journey of love" and we are all so much happier. Cin and I are relaxed. We no longer expect a blowup every time we open our mouths to speak to her, or when we have to say no. Olivia is happy too. And we can see it in her eyes, in her smile. She seems peaceful now, no longer in search of the fight, the drama. She is getting the attention, the right kind of attention, she needs and deserves.
Don't get me wrong. She still cries and screams and says,"NO!", runs away and laughs in my face when I ask her to do something and bedtime is still a struggle (mostly because I believe she loves spending time with us so much that she can't bear the thought of being away from us). But now these things only happen once in a while. She only gets a time out once or twice a week, and she will now go to it quietly rather than with a tantrum.
She is far from perfect. But why should she be? Why should I expect perfection from her when I am so far from it myself? I was being so hard on her because I wanted her to be well-behaved and well-mannered and polite. Why? So people would love her. It was crazy. Why do I care if people love her? It's my own insecurity and need for acceptance. So I had to get over it and stop caring what people thought of her and just worry about loving her myself and providing her with the gentle guidance she needs to become whoever she is supposed to be.

I'm pretty sure I blabbed on and on and on in this post, so thanks for staying with me!

OG's 3rd Birthday Party

2007-08-07T09:21:00.000-04:00

FINALLY! It's over - so much preparation and it's over in a flash. Everyone had a blast.
The Slip N' Slide was a big hit.

The baby pool and the Pirate Ship pool were very refreshing.

The silly glasses were the all out favorite from the goodie bags.

Of course, everyone helped open the presents.

Except for the resident fisherman.

And the cake was DELICIOUS! As always, it was ice cream cake - cake batter ice cream on bottom and top with a center of smashed Oreos - double high! MMMMMMMMMMMM!

Spit or Swallow?

2007-07-30T21:02:00.000-04:00

I gave the twins their first feeding of cereal by spoon today. Here's how it went; judge for yourself.

Getting the Twins to Sleep

2007-07-30T13:21:00.000-04:00

Thanks to everyone for your suggestions!
There was too much here to put in the comments, so I made a blog of it.
Amy/Tracerhawk - I SOOOOO appreciate ALL the info. It was really sweet of you to put it ALL down for me. I haven't been as vigilant as I should be with the Pepcid b/c they were not in pain from the reflux anymore - so I thought. Maybe they are and since I can't know, I went back to our regimen with it yesterday and will continue until whenever.
Tammy - You better get that kid some sleeping pills!
I have tried everything that everyone told me - either the last few days or before that. I even tried the dreamfeeding last night - thanks Stef, but no go.
So, last night I put my foot down. After their last feeding at 10 PM, which included cereal in their bottles, I put them down. At 11:30, when I was about to pass out, I went in and let each suck on a bottle to their hearts content. Emma ate about 3 oz (I guess b/c she didn't each much at 10)and Jake ate just 1 1/2.
I thought I was in for a good night's sleep. NOT!
Jake woke screaming at 2:50. I went in, quieted him and went back to bed. I was determined. I guess his passie fell out and he started screaming again in 2 minutes. I shut off the monitor for a few minutes and turned it back on to see if he stopped. Nope. Shut it off. Turned it on. Shut it off. Turned it on. And so it went until 4:15. They took turns screaming, mostly Jake, though. Then it stopped. It was quiet, until 5:15, a which point I got up and fed them. I was lucky Olivia never woke from the noise. They slept til 8:45 this morning, which is unheard of. They usually get up at 5:30, after eating at 2-2:30 and don't go back to sleep until around 8.
I put them down for a nap at 11 and they woke and cried a couple times, but I didn't get them out of their cribs until 1. I think they got a decent nap and I will put them down again later this afternoon.
I think I'm just going to have to force the issue and hope they adjust. We need a schedule and if I have to be a mean mommy to get one, then so be it. I spent a good part of last night crying - for them and for me and I felt really bad this morning for doing it. I just don't think I am useful at all to them if I am exhausted all day long because I'm not sleeping because they're not sleeping.
Everyone PLEASE keep your fingers crossed for me tonight. I need all the help and luck I can get.

4 Month Stats and a Midnight Bike Ride

2007-07-27T15:35:00.000-04:00

My babies are 4 months and 8 days old and here's how they're doing.

Emma
Weight - 12 pounds, 1 oz, 10th-25th percentile
Length - 24 1/8 inches, 25th-50th percentile
Head - 15 3/4 inches (her head is definitely top heavy), 25th percentile

Jake
Weight - 13 pounds, 10 oz, 25th percentile
Length - 25 3/4 inches, 75th-90th percentile
Head - 15 3/4 inches, 5th-10th percentile

Even though they are on Pepcid, they both still spit up like crazy, so I have no idea how much they actually keep down. They are eating 5-6 1/2 ounces at a time, depending on the time of day. We were on regular formula, then AR, now on Soy for the last 2 weeks. The doctor said that the Pepcid helps the reflux pain, but will not prevent the spitting up.

Neither one sleeps through the night, so tonight we start on cereal at the last feeding. God, I hope this helps. I am sleep and shower deprived. Any other suggestions from experienced moms? I used Ferber with Olivia and she slept through at 8 weeks. The problem here is that 1 wakes the other, and then Olivia, if it goes on too long. I CANNOT have 3 children up at 2 AM! Ideas for keeping twins sleeping?

They are both laughing and cooing like crazy and love standing upright. Jake is trying so very hard to sit up.
They are getting to be so much fun.

A quick funny story about Olivia.
We went to play with my niece and her 2 kids yesterday. We went to the boardwalk and Olivia and Alex ran on the boardwalk, playing "red means stop and green means go". It's a great way to keep them close to you and not run off while they have lots of fun. We ate pizza, hung out, then drove home. OG went to bed around 8 last night. She was tired because she only took a 20 minute nap in the car on the way home.
At 10 o'clock, I heard her jumping on her bed and singing. As I moved closer, I could make out the words -"I have to go potty, I have to go potty". She has this thing about telling me when she has to go and waiting for my permission. So I called Cin to listen to a few bars. We cracked up, then sent her to the bathroom.
Back to bed.
Midnight. We wake to Olivia opening our bedroom door. We look up to see her in her pajamas and well-matched socks and sneakers. "I wanna ride my bike".
WHAT?
Now, I gotta give it to her. The rule is socks and sneakers when we ride the bike - no sandals, no flip-flops. Good girl, however delirious at the moment.
I was laughing my ass off. Cin got up to put her back down and I told her to check for a fever because this was surely delirium. No fever.
Back to bed.
She woke twice more. Once she was lying on the bathroom floor screaming she peed herself. I think she went in to go potty and fell asleep on the floor before she got on the bowl and woke to wet pants. I don't remember the last time she woke because I took a Tylenol with codeine after the babies' 2 AM feeding because my tooth was killing me. Long story for another post.

What the hell got into her last night? She NEVER wakes in the middle of the night. I think she was overtired from not napping or possessed by some evil force. Whichever it is, I hope it never comes back!

The Hamburglar Can Swim

2007-07-26T16:50:00.000-04:00

Thanks, K - this sucks. I can barely remember to brush my teeth in the morning and you want me to think of 8 things to reveal about myself. Which reminds me...

1. I am a floss freak. I whip it out (the dental floss, you pigs) about 6 or 7 times a day - every time I put something in my mouth. I have a thing about it my teeth in general, I guess. They must feel like glass. So if I can't brush, I rub off any "stuff" that's on them with a napkin or paper towel, or my shirt if there aren't any paper products handy. Ever try those little things that go over your finger that you use to "brush" your teeth - awesome. It's addictive.

Be right back...................................
OK, I'm back - had to floss.

2. My pits are a swamp. My armpits are always wet. It can be 30 degrees out and I sweat under my arms, even if I'm freezing. When I sweat hard, my pits can get really funky, no matter how many sticks of deodorant I use. If I wear a white shirt, it turns yellow under the arms due to whatever toxic substance is in my pits. I tried everything - even the stupid crystal that you wet and rub on - nothing works.
Before we got married, I had Botox injections under my arms so I wouldn't sweat and ruin my dress. It was the greatest thing ever - I didn't sweat under my arms for 6 months. Then back to reality - damn!

3. This is rated R, so go to #4 if you are a prude. I shave myself clean - like a baby's bottom in the summer. Ahhhhh, feels nice, except when it starts growing back - itchy!

4. I love black men. There's just something about them. Before I met Cindy, and prior to the guy I lived with before that, I dated black men almost exclusively.

5. I am a grammar freak/snob. I find it very difficult to talk to people who use bad grammar. It makes me cringe and I get a tic from listening to it.

6. I am a fanatic about my floors. I clean my tile and hardwood on my hands and knees with old, soft rags. If it were possible to do it daily, I would. I shampoo my carpet often (used to be 2x/month - less now). I vacuum every day. I ask people to remove their shoes when they come in my house. I sends me into an anxiety frenzy when people forget to take them off.

7. I wipe my dog's butt with baby wipes after he poops. Nuff said.

8. I have a recurring nightmare that began when I was very young. I am in front of my house, then suddenly - a flood. Then the Hamburglar starts chasing me and I start swimming as fast as I can down my block, but he is a better swimmer than me and he is catching up fast. I feel the terror and then he is right behind me and just about to grab me - then I wake up. Analyze that!

My 1st Little Angel

2007-07-24T13:45:00.000-04:00

Today my Olivia turns 3. She saved my life.

It was October 2003. I was 33, desperately in love with my wife, living in a beautiful home and making great money doing a job I loved. Something big was missing. A burning need unfulfilled. It was time.
"I need to have children, Cin".
"OK, let's start".
Cin had never considered having children prior to meeting me, but when we talked about it, she was open to the idea. As our lives became one and our love grew exponentially, she found herself wanting children, too. At first, maybe just for me, but she was sure. Let's have kids.
So we whittled down the donor possibilities, settled on Mr. Right and off we went to the clinic.
My cycle started in late October and in early November we went for our 1st insemination. It worked. We were pregnant!
9 months later, July 24, 2004, our first miracle came - Olivia Grace.
She was 6 lbs, 11 oz and 19 1/2 inches. She was a peanut and looked like a little bird. And she was ours. Ours to love and care for. Ours to worry about and to teach. Strange thing is, she has given me so much more than I have given her.

Olivia is kind and compassionate.
She is slow to warm, but when she does, people can't help but fall in love with her.

She is smart and funny and so very clever.

She is intuitive and wise.
Her smile is bright and her laugh is infectious.
My soul is nourished every time she looks in my eyes or throws her arms around me or places a soft kiss on my cheek or lips.
My heart aches to see her cry.
She has taught me how to love, for love's sake, and without expectation.
She has taught me what it means to be afraid. Afraid of losing her, or not knowing how to ease her pain.
I can't hold back the tears now as I write, just to know that I am blessed with this child.
I am blessed to know her and watch her learn.
I am blessed to have her love and warmth.
I am blessed that she is in my life and in my care.
I pray that I will never let her down; that I will always show her the love she deserves and provide her with everything she needs to be the beautiful, powerful woman she is supposed to be.
And I thank her - for everything I am now, for making me a kinder, stronger woman; for making me a mother.

The Week In Review

2007-07-23T14:54:00.000-04:00

I guess I've been MIA for a while, but I haven't had anything really exciting to say. OK, that's a lie. Maybe nothing that's happened may be exciting for you, but I had one thrill after another last week.

Rides, Rides and More Rides

It all started last Tuesday when the 3 kids, my 12-year old mother's helper and I hopped in the car and went down to Point Pleasant Boardwalk to meet a friend of mine and her son. We bought wristbands for $15 and the kids were able to ride all day. Olivia had never been there and the only rides she was ever on are the carousel and the firetruck that rocks back and forth at the mall, so I wasn't sure how she would like it. It was 90 degrees with 93% humidity, so I wasn't sure how the babies and I would hold up, but we did just fine and Olivia didn't care. She had a blast. I realized something funny, which I didn't notice it at the time. All the rides are EXACTLY the same. As I showed Cin the videos I shot, she started laughing and pointed out that they all do the same thing - go around in a circle. The kids don't seem to mind and I guess if I were 3, I wouldn't care either.

Our Newest Arrival

My search for the perfect stroller was finally over. Olivia usually walks, but there are times I would like her to be in the stroller, like when we are in a crazy crowd or when she gets tired. I researched for weeks and looked at every make and model that was suitable for 2 babies and a toddler. I made my mind up - I wanted the Val.co Trimode Runabout Twin. It is a double jogger with 2 swiveling front tires and a toddler seat that attaches in a flash, among other amazing features. It drives like a dream!

However, I was NOT going to pay $659 for any stroller, plus $100 for the toddler seat, not unless it had a motor and I could hop on, too. So I needed to find a used one.I looked high and low and on E.bay and Crai.gslist. I missed out on 4 or 5 strollers by a day or 2 because I found it impossible to log on 5 times a day to check on new postings. Oh well. Finally I saw an auction for a used one, so I waited it out and bid right before I went to bed on Saturday because the auction was ending at 10:15 Sunday morning. After a long and torturous 12 hours, it happened. I won! I was elated and emailed the seller. To my shock, she emailed me back and let me know that she made a mistake and meant to put a "reserve" price on the auction, which was $45 more than my winning bid. I was PISSED! If she could afford to buy this thing new and sell it after 4 months because she wanted a different stroller, why did she need my stinking $45?????? I wasn't gonna pay it! While I was figuring out what to do, she emailed me twice and applied the pressure. I was out of my mind. I didn't know what to do, but I knew I didn't want to be extorted, which is what she was doing, telling me she had another buyer who was willing to pay $500, bla, bla, bla. So I did it. I gave in and paid the extra $45, cuz I wanted it soooooooooo bad. I had to have it. So on our way down to the boardwalk on Tuesday, I picked up our new stroller. I am so in love.

Diamonds Are NOT A Girl's Best Friend

A rug shampooer is...

I got this baby for my birthday last year. I have used it at least 10 times since, even on my furniture. On Wednesday, I took Olivia to school, dropped Max off at play group, came home and went to work.

Mall Walker

On Thursday, it was not very nice out, so I decided to get my exercise in the mall. So I packed up all 3 kids and headed off to the mall (with my new stroller, of course) to power walk. 4 hours later I came home with 3 little trinkets made with shells that Olivia helped me pick out at a kiosk. She is modeling her favorite.

I was stopped by every woman (and 1 man) with more than 1 child so she could ask about my baby, I mean stroller. A mother couldn't be more proud!

Ahhhh, Sweet Air

Vanity is setting in and I have decided to get my teeth "fixed". There's nothing really wrong with them, but I wanted to have my silver fillings replaced with tooth-colored fillings. I had my 1st 2 done 2 Fridays ago and had 3 done last Friday. I have 3 left and can't even wait. They should be done within the month. I'll spare you the pictures. My dentist gave me sweet air and I'll never have work done without it again. The drilling drives me crazy. Without the sweet air, I get so anxious and my whole body clenches. Speaking of clenching, he said I clench and grind pretty badly, so he ground down my back molars and it has helped so much. Now if only he could prescribe the pretty pink pills.

Another Family Reunion
On Saturday we went to a family reunion for Cin's dad's side of the family. Nothing to report here. Just a gorgeous day of swimming and fun. Here are my 2 fave pix from the day - Olivia in the ladybug and Cin's cousin wearing Jake's hat.

Just One More Thing

Cindy HAD to do it. She had to get a pool for Olivia. So on Sunday, she "ran out" to pick up a few things and came back with a 12' x 16' piece of turf to lay down next to the play area so we could put a pool on it. There was no room left in the minivan for the pool, so I had to "run out" and get one later that day. I did. It's adorable, so much fun. Pix to come.

Mommies on a Mission

2007-07-15T14:58:00.000-04:00

Saturday Morning.

The scene: everyone sitting around in the den. Olivia playing with her dolls. Jake and Emma hangin' out in their car seats. Cin and me drinking coffee.

Me: What do you want to do today?

Cin: I dunno. Ummmm. Let's do Olivia's play yard.

Me: What?

Cin: I wanna make it bigger and move the swings so she has more room to run around and play. Then we'll be ready when we get a bigger swingset.

Me: Uh, OK.

So it began. We called to order and schedule delivery of more rubber mulch for later that afternoon, then got the family together and headed out to get the wood for the frame. When we got home with the lumber, the work began.

This is the before shot

I had to disassemble the old frame while Cindy got out the saw to cut the wood for the new frame. And, of course, OG was nearby with her trusty hammer just in case.

The mulch came. It was the Supersack - and was it ever. It was ginormous.

Then I started putting together the new frame. Once it was up, we began to spread the mulch - what a freakin' (translation for the Utah-ites - flippin') huge job that was.

Then it was getting dark, so we called it quits for the night and had some dinner.

A special thanks to Gale (aka BM - birthmother) for coming over and entertaining our 3 little helpers and grilling up a feast for dinner. XXXOOO.
We woke up this morning and got right to work. Well, not really. We sat around, had some coffee. Gale came and picked up OG and they went to the pool. Then we went out to put on the final touches, moved OG's playhouse back into the new play area and cleaned up. Then BM and OG came home, we had lunch, Olivia went for a nap, Gale left, we put the babies to sleep and my girl crashed. Game OVER!

Our next project is to build a tree house on that beautiful tree in the play area. J - we may need some help! K - you too - homemade lemonade and no bake peanut butter cookies?

Birthday Weekend

2007-07-09T13:51:00.000-04:00

The Best Friends a Girl Could Ever Have

On Friday night, I got one of the best presents there is. A few of my friends came over and brought all the food, cooked it, cleaned up and held, fed and occupied the babies the whole time they were there - about 5 hours. As you can see in the picture, there are 3 children and no Mommies. There is also an empty martini glass on the table and yes, my cosmo used to be in it. It was awesome. I got a few nice gifts, including a gift card to TJ Maxx and a really nice bottle of vodka for my cosmos. My friends really do know me so well.

Cindy got me my favorite cake - cake batter ice cream with a center of smashed Oreos. Olivia helped me blow out the candles. Now remember, I am on a diet, so I only had a very small piece, I swear!

Cin couldn't wait until Sunday to give me my present, so she whipped it out on Friday night. WOW! It was a huge surprise. We stopped doing the jewelry thing when the kids started coming. It is a stunning piece and this picture does NOT do it justice. The 3 stones are a ruby and 2 aquamarines, the birthstones of our children. Each is a 1 karat stone in a different shape representing their different personalities. Cin designed it herself. I LOVE IT! Thanks, Baby!

Princess Dresses and Scratchoffs

On Saturday we went down to Cin's brother's house to celebrate the July birthdays - mine, Olivia's and Cin's brother, J. J and I got funny cards and scratchoffs as usual and Olivia got awesome gifts, including a hippity hop, a dollhouse and a few princess dresses and all the necessary accessories. She was out of her mind with excitement and didn't take one of the dresses for the rest of the day and then put it back on as soon as she woke on Sunday morning.

That night we stayed at Cin's eldest brother's and his wife offered to watch all the kids while we went out. So we showered, dressed and I even put on a little makeup. We went to a nice dinner at a restaurant right on the beach and I had my annual Lobster and filet mignon birthday dinner. Another of Cin's brothers is a partner in a bar right on the boardwalk, so we headed over there for a few drinks and to see the fireworks that had been cancelled on the 4th. When we got home, all the kids were fed and asleep for the night. Perfect!

Premature Evacuation

Cin did the middle of the night feeding and let me sleep in on Sunday morning. Olivia came up and woke me at 8:30. I couldn't believe what time it was. We hung out with Cin's brother and sister-in-law for the rest of the morning, then we went to Cin's 25th high school reunion. As anticipated, Cin was miserable and we left early. In a moment of craziness a few weeks ago, she decided we should go. It was a family picnic setting, so we thought it would be fun. However, she didn't know or talk to most of these people in high school and was quickly reminded of why. The few people who were there that she was friends with are women we see anyway, so it was a huge waste of time. It was hot and sticky and Olivia hadn't napped and it had been a long weekend, so we just wanted to get home and relax. We bailed after 2 hours, drove home, fed Olivia, put her to bed, fed the babies, ordered a movie and had sushi for dinner and just relaxed. It turned out to be the perfect birthday evening.

A Day At The Zoo

2007-07-07T08:00:00.000-04:00

I called my friend, T, first thing in the morning to see if her 3 kids were feeling better and if they wanted to get together to play. She said they were going to the zoo and asked if we'd like to go. Sure, why not? So I started getting us together. She called me back to tell me her friend was coming with her 2 kids. Great! The more, the merrier.

And we were off.

We got to the zoo about 11 am and started on or way around to see all the animals. It's a small zoo, so I planned on walking around for a couple hours, eating lunch, riding the train and then going home so Olivia could take her nap (which never happened by the way).

We were - 8 kids under 6, 3 moms and 2 double strollers having one hell of a good time. The kids were excited, the weather was hot, but not humid and everyone had their happy faces on. And that's the way it stayed for he next 3 hours. No crying, no whining, no screaming or fighting. It was glorious and I have to give it up for the kids and the moms. Everyone was very well-behaved and it made for a fabulous day.

Here are some pictures I got before my camera went dead because I forgot to charge it. Of course! They are self explanatory.

Lazy Day Post

2007-07-04T15:44:00.000-04:00

This was a really lazy day. The air is cool and damp, the sky is grey and nobody is having a party for the 4th. Olivia and the babies got me up early this morning, so I pulled out the camera and started taking pictures.

Jake was happy - hanging out in the vibrator seat while Emma took a catnap in the swing. He was amazed by the fishes.

Then he got bored and started yawning and I told him to entertain himself. He pretended to be Popeye and he found his thumb. Finally! I am so sick of the passie!

Then Emma woke up because Olivia started yelling about a big bird in the backyard. She really wanted Emma to see it, so she climbed up on the couch next to Olivia and they spent a few minutes looking out the window.

Then I thought it would be cute to take a picture of all the kids' feet. No, I don't know why. I just love their feet.

When Cindy got up, we took a walk around the park this morning, which turned out to be 4 miles long. When we came home, a bunch of kids were playing next door. It's the house in the neighborhood where all the kids congregate.

This is Nicholas. He LOVES Olivia and wanted her to come play. So she did.

They have great toys and stuff, like the big bouncy house. So they climbed in and started jumping around. But then, one of the big kids thought it would be fun to turn off the compressor. Not funny! The dad next door was mad. Thank God it wasn't Olivia who did it.

Then Olivia came home because Mimere (one of her Grandmas) came over. OG has started discovering her body and spent a few minutes lifting her shirt and checking out the reflection of her belly and her butt in the door window. No, I have absolutely no idea where she gets this behavior from.

THE END

2 Down, 13 to Go

2007-07-03T11:22:00.000-04:00

I'm dieting - AGAIN. But this time I decided to just do it. I looked into a lot of different plans, because obviously eggs, cheese, bacon, sausage, hamburgers, steaks and chicken ain't doin' it for me anymore. You've guessed it, I am an Atkins fan. I lost 15-20 pounds a few years ago with Atkins and I have been able to maintain my weight while really chowin' down. I have a problem with self denial and I love eggs, meat and cheese, so it was perfect for me. But my body has betrayed me. I am unable to lose "the baby weight". Actually, it's more baby belly than baby weight. I weigh a few pounds less now than before I became pregnant with the twins. However, the pregnancy did something to my upper abdomen and thighs that is appalling. The skin is loose and hanging and just gross. I figure 15 pounds should do it.

After thoughtful consideration of my inability to control myself, I decided on Slimfast. Why? Because if the food is not in the house, I won't be able to eat it. I don't usually have a problem keeping the weight off once it's gone, so hopefully eating real food again 3 meals a day won't be an issue when this "diet" is over. Of course I will exercise whenever I am able and hopefully that will help, too. But for me, I really need to sweat and pant for exercise to work at all. Mere walking just doesn't cut it.

Here's how it goes...

Shake for breakfast, along with a small portion of some healthy food. I usually have 1/2 cup cottage cheese with pineapple.

Shake for lunch, along with a small portion of healthy food. I usually have 1/2 can tuna with a few grape tomatoes and baby carrots.

Then I get to have 2 fruits and 1 snack. I usually have an apple or an orange sometime after lunch, then I get my chocolate fix with a really small snack bar. Can you say ripoff?

Then dinner - a piece of chicken or other protein the size of my very small palm and a plate full of veggies.

Funny thing is, if I weighed more, I'd be allowed more snacks and fruit. So I thought maybe I'd gain 20 pounds, the I could eat more to lose weight. Not a good idea, right? Just a thought.

I started last Wednesday, and on Saturday, at my private weigh-in on my inaccurate scale in my bathroom, I was 2 pounds lighter. Only 13 more to go. I figure if I can lose 2 pounds week, I only have 6 more weeks of torture.

Enough about the diet. I just needed to put it in writing so that I have no choice but to stick to it.

This n' That

2007-06-28T11:54:00.000-04:00

It's been a week since I blogged...I know, I know, I'm bad. But life has been happening. In anticipation of my next blog, however, I have been carrying the camera around and taking pictures, so here are a few from the week. Nothing terribly exciting, just everyday fun and stuff.

Jake and Emma are getting so big and doing a lot of smiling, so we had a photo session to commemorate gums and smiles and big blue eyes.

I also bought a new bathing suit because I seemed to have lost all the suits I had last year. This is what happened when Jake saw his Mama's thighs for the 1st time.

I bought Bumbo seats this week because the babies are holding heir heads up pretty well and I figured they could use another view of the world. I bought pink and purple by mistake, so I had to go back and get a boy color. I guess that makes me part of the gender stereotypes problem - too bad! Jake is way too much of a bruiser to be in a pink or purple Bumbo seat! They found ways to amuse themselves, like playing "who can pinch whose foot harder?"

And, of course, big sister found her way into the loop with "this is what a lion says - ROOOOAR!" and she was helpful as always as the pacifier retriever.

Max needed a bath, so we broke out the generic Head n' Shoulders and rolled out the hose.

Olivia LOVES to wash the windows on the door and I never deny her that kind of fun. Check out that hubba!

And after working her little fingers to the bone, she was off to play "can't catch me" with Max. This is the reason I have to soil and reseed around this tree every year.

The week ended on a bit of a sad note. We discovered that our favorite lawn ornament and good friend, Ribbit, broke his foot. It's a pretty severe fracture, so it looks as though surgery will be required, though, as you can see, he is in good spirits, reading his favorite book "How to Catch Flies".

That's all for now. See y'all later - maybe with something more interesting.

The Stats

2007-06-20T14:40:00.000-04:00

The babies are quiet for the moment. Emma is in the swing and Jake is in the vibrator seat (wish I was). I was going to nap, but I decided to blog instead. Are ya proud of me, K?

The twins went for their 2 month checkup today, though they are 3 months old. They have had so many Dr. visits for illness that it keeps getting put off. They are both charting fairly well, but have lost weight in the last couple weeks. Here are their stats.

Emma
Has a major ear infection
weight - 9 lbs, 14 oz - 10th percentile
length - 23 inches - 40th percentile
head - 15 1/2 inches - 20th percentile

Jake
weight - 10 lbs, 12 oz - 5th percentile
length - 23 7/8 inches - 50th percentile
head - 15 inches - 3rd percentile (he had a preemie head when he was born and is starting to grow out of it. The Dr. called it a toaster head and I cracked up b/c his head absolutely looked like it had been in a toaster when he was born).

So there it is. They chart on the low side because they were born at 36 weeks and started out smaller than average, but continue to grow and plot well on the CDC chart. YAY! If they were well and eating and sleeping right, I'm sure they would be chunkas by now, but my 2 little beans are on the small side right now. Better for the arms.

They are both on so many meds right now...
Xopenex inhalant 6 times/day
Pulmicort inhalant 2 times/day
Pepcid 2 times/day
Amoxycillin 1 time/day
Orapred 1 time/day (Jake only)

The amoxyxillin gives them diarrhea and red, raw butts. The Xopenex makes them nutty - baby ADHD - almost no napping. And the coughing fits make them vomit like the girl from the Exorcist, which is especially fun at the 3 am feeding.

They are scheduled to see the pulmonologist on Friday morning. They have both been diagnosed with reactive airway disease and it basically means that while other children who are exposed to a runny nose will get a runny nose, but when Jake and Emma are exposed to a runny nose, they are susceptible to and will likely get lower respiratory infections.
I am really hoping I hear something other than the usual..."Just keep giving the treatments every 3-4 hours. It's going to be a few weeks before you see major improvement and they will have ups and downs, but should get better with time."
I know this is just how it is for now, but I would much prefer to hear..."Give them this medicine 2x/day for 3 days and they will be good as new". FAT CHANCE!

OK, dishes are waiting - see ya later!

A Week in the Life...

2007-06-18T15:43:00.000-04:00

Now that we are home, I need to talk about some of the good stuff. Here goes...

Before the craziness on Saturday afternoon, the week was a fun one.

Olivia got her 1st bike and was happy enough to just sit on it. Pedaling is a whole other issue - how the hell do you teach a kid to do that? And, of course, we insist on sneakers and a helmet, though not all the other kids on the block have to abide by the same rules. Too bad!

Cin's niece and Jake's Godmother, Jacqui (aka Jake) is in summer session at college and spends Tuesdays with me. Max is in love with her, always has been - can you tell?

Olivia thought it would be fun to see how my G string would look as a bathing suit. She used to wear them around her neck and dance around our room. Is this an improvement? Not bad, but now I'd have to be 7 ft tall to wear these again. Oh well. Saturday was looking to be the start of another amazing weekend. The only daylillies not to be eaten by the neighborhood deer had bloomed and we were going to do some work in the yard (YES - again!)

I decided to make breakfast on the grill. I know it may not look good to all of you, but if you've ever been camping, you know that there is nothing better than flame-grilled sausage and eggs with a hint of smokey goodness.Olivia was chasing Max around the yard, trying to get the ball that he popped with his big ole T-Rex teeth after it mysteriously appeared in our yard last week.

After he got tired, Max thought it would be a good idea to dig a hole in our flowerbed and lie down in the cool dirt. He denies it still.

WHO? ME?

Jake's 1st Hospital Stay

2007-06-18T10:26:00.000-04:00

I have a feeling it's going to be a long hard road for my 2 little beans. They have both been diagnosed with Reactive Airway Disease and are currently suffering with pretty bad cases of bronchioltis. On Saturday, Jake had a fever, was having great difficulty breathing and was having retractions. For those of you not familiar with the term, it means that his chest wall was visibly sinking in with each breath. Frightening to see for the 1st time. So I called our pediatrician and he sent us off to the emergency room. After 4 hours of poking and prodding, taking vitals, breathing treatments, antibiotics, steroids, puking, and lots of crying, they decided to admit him because his oxygen saturation just wasn't what it should be. 3 more hours...then we get a room and settle in around 9PM. He is hooked up to oxygen and a monitor for his O2 levels, pulse and heartrate. He looks so pathetic. Aside from the noticeable bags under his eyes from not sleeping for several days, he was now hooked up to machines. I'll spare you the rest of the details and just say that we are waiting for our discharge papers so we can go home today.

So here I sit with Jake and Emma, who stayed with us last night because our dog, Max would not have been a suitable babysitter for her this morning while I was here with Jake. I am in a strange place right now; not sure how to describe it. The tears are coming as I write this and they are unexpected. From the very moment Jake wasn't breathing right, I think I went into a "mode", became detached from any emotions I might have had about what was happening. For 2 days, I was just here, doing what needed to be done, asking questions, changing diapers, feeding, holding and rocking my baby boy. But I wasn't feeling a whole lot. Only pity - for him, this tiny little creature who has been sick and had trouble breathing for most of his 13 weeks of life. There was one scenario that ran through my head more than once during these 3 days. The scenario in which I hadn't noticed Jake's chest caving in when I was changing him. The scenario in which he continued to be in distress all day and I was too wrapped up in yardwork and housework and feedings and changings to notice. The scenario in which I was so robotic about the things I needed to do that I didn't see the signs - or just plain ignored them. In this scenario, I put Jake down after his last feeding at 9 o'clock that night and he just stops breathing - but I never know.
The 1st time this ran through my head, I dismissed it, very practically, and repeated to myself, "but that's not what happened, so it's fine". But it isn't fine. I could have been so wrapped up in all the little shit that I didn't take the time to see what was right in front of my face, screaming at me. It could have turned out very differently, tragically.
But it didn't. And I thank God for that.
So as I sit here while Emma naps and the respiratory therapist gives Jake another breathing treatment, I feel grateful. Grateful for my doctor, who put me at ease and never made me feel like a crazy, overly-concerned mother; for the ER staff who took such great care of my little man when he was suffering; for all the nurses who took care of all of us while we have been here - they are truly angels of mercy. And I am gateful for my instincts and that I have the humility to listen to them when all logic speaks out against them.
It's hard to do, to listen carefully to your instincts when you know damn well that, if you are wrong, you could look very foolish. And I know now that I will never again be too proud to listen to that voice, screaming in my head, defying what seems logical, and to always act in the best interest of my precious little babies.
And I say to all my friends in blogland...when God gives us the gifts of motherhood, it comes with the additional gift of maternal instinct and the responsibility to use it and act upon it. So the next time you see a bump or a bruise you can't identify or a mark you don't recognize or a freckle that wasn't there the day before, don't ignore it. If it makes you feel anything at all could be wrong, call your doctors, make them listen and don't take any answers that don't put you completely at ease. You owe it to yourself and your childen.

We're going home now. I am happy, and worried, but relieved Jake is OK for now. I can't wait to get home so I can cry.